So, today was trash. I got hurt today and had two got panic attacks back to back. The reason why is because that school made my state of mind horrible.. It made me hurt the heck outta myself. Hurting myself and having rational thought.. it hurts really bad. And I just wish i was outta that school. Cause it feels like living heck, the principle is bad. The teachers are all very rude. They make you go depressed cause of the applied pressure they give you. Which makes us students hurt even more. And I hate it. They caused my panic attack. And all my horrible thoughts and stuff im doing to myself, and I just wish it was over.. Im just scared… and I hope I can escape that living manor of a place.. The janitors can be nice, but one is just.. Scary.. He yells at kids for dumb reasons, makes them get ISS for no reason and he’s just.. gives me weird vibes, i dont like being around him
I hurt myself falling off my bike yesterday and fell directly on my hip. When I fell I can tell ya I could not move at all. My knee stiffed up. My hip was hurting me so bad.. and the good thing is I was on a call with a friend. So I could tell them to call my mom cause the incident was pretty bad.. So she called her and she didn’t answer. But then my mom called me and I told her. And then next second I see my mom coming down the driveway to walk down to 5 houses down. Im feeling better but can’t move my arm my leg or my hip. My hip was scratched up bad, my arm, horrible. And my leg. It goes deep.. I’ve been laying in bed since yesterday and I have took a bunch of pain relaxers. But they don’t seem to work. Bunch of my friends (irl) are seeming to leave me. Like why? Avery thinks she has it hard. but compared to me.. not even close. I want to talk to the people I wanna talk to but this someone doesn’t let me cause we made and alliance with another person to not talk to individual people. Im starting to think she’s using me.. But I can’t say she is without evidence right? Yeah she is helpful with my mental health and stuff. But I’ve been trying and trying to be perfect for her, and it just seems not to work.. I would just like to disappear from human existence for ever. It would be nice to be alone sometimes without 100 million people surrounding you when ur having a breakdown ya know? And I understand many people would love to help me.. But just let me work it out by myself. I would appreciate that.. ITS TUESDAY. And I have TCAP. WHY LIFE. WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!
