Overall, great job! For the next chapter try to include more sensory details. I really like how you choose multiple animals to tell the story. It conveys the anger and fear they feel very well. I added a few sensory details as examples and corrected a few grammar mistakes. One thing I was a little confused about was the pronouns of each character. Are they both female? Since the majority of the pronouns used were female, I fixed them to be female. Please tell me if I am wrong. (sorry if I am) Sorry it took so long to submit these corrections. I was a little busy with school. Again, Great Job!
