Ok so this is for me and you. Its a lot of reading so BEWARE before you start reading I have some Green Day songs put in here so here's the list (1. Brat, 2. Geek Stink Breath, 3. 2000 Light Years Away, 4. Hitchin' A Ride, 5. Give Me Novocaine, 6. Oh Love, SPACE stop all) I’m trans. Anyone who knows me knows that, and if you don’t, you don’t know me. I'm here to explain what I go through, not every trans person goes through this. There are some trigger warnings for dysphoria so be aware! PREFACE (lil bit before the actual thing) My mother is not supportive of any LGBT+ and that just enrages me ESPECIALLY since she adopted me at 13. I wish I would’ve known that or I wouldn't have chosen to live with her now. I always knew I was queer and came out as bisexual at 14, she was never accepting of that. I talked about being trans to her around a year ago and she blatantly told me she’d never accept me and she’d even disown me. Just today (the day I started this) there was a political commercial about this guy named Patrick Morrisey. He had funded an HRT company that helped trans youth (when he's anti-trans {Repbulican}) get the treatment they deserve and she got SO LIVID FOR NO REASON. I don't want to spend too long talking about my mum so I’m going to move on to the next person I know won’t accept me. My grandfather. This man is literally one of my favorite people and it stings to think about him not accepting me. My mum is rude and just a.. Mean person to put it in a nice way, but he is the exact opposite. He introduced me to the world of Dungeons and Dragons and has made me some of the best food I’ve ever had, he’s also a DJ! He is what inspired my interest in Radio! The reason I know he won’t accept me for being trans is the following conversation. “Hey pops, there’s this band called Against Me!, have you heard of them?” I asked. He replied, “Yeah, I’ve heard of them but never listened to them.”. I had proceeded to show him their hit song “Black Me Out” which is about the frontwoman Laura Jane Grace being trans (as is the whole album it's called Transgender Dysphoria Blues for a reason). His reply was, and I quote word for word, “Well, did HE get the chop? If not he’s not a woman.” UGH, WHY? WHY would he ruin his image like that?! I idolized this man! I went to the bathroom 10 minutes after and BAWLED MY EYES OUT! It hurts. That's the point I’m making so if you're reading this and you don't like trans people or you're not being accepted for being trans or whatever just know you're not the only person being victimized. I'm here for you. And if you're in the “don't like trans people” category try understanding how we feel by reading this. ONE (not accepting myself) As I stated in the first part I always knew I was queer or at least that I didn’t fit into the category of what society expected. I had wondered why I had crushes on boys instead of girls (I didn’t actually like a girl until around 5th grade) and I struggled with it, until I learned what the term gay meant. I thought I was gay (this was around 7th and before I was adopted) until I found out what bisexual was! Before that I thought you were gay or straight. Point blank period. I asked my birth mother (who, if I mention again, I will refer to as BM) “What if I was bi?” and she replied with, “I’d accept you wholeheartedly.”. Times like these make me regret ever telling someone that I was home alone for over a week. Or else I’d still be with her and she would know everything about the new. No, the REAL me. (I was taken around July 18th I think). It's painful not being me in the place you’re supposed to feel the safest. So I suppressed these feelings. The feelings that consumed almost every thought. I told myself I was going through a phase. Just as my mum said when I came out. I told myself nothing about being the way I was was correct. That it was unnatural. But none of that is true! Is it valid and natural to feel these ways? I have, of course accepted myself now and I am happy with myself, well maybe not completely, this leads us to my next point. TWO (TW: dysphoria) Body and gender dysphoria. Both an extreme feeling of unhappiness, one due to your body, the other your gender. Normally to a point of hating that specific thing. Like having a small chest or narrow hips, or for trans men the opposite (too big of a chest and hips). I am here to say that these “flaws” make you pretty or handsome. I had to learn that the hard way. Who am I kidding, I’m still learning it! I want to try and keep this section moderately appropiate for younger audiences so I’m not getting into the nitty gritty of dyshoria and what it entails. In order to start hormones (in my state) you must have a diagnosis of dysphoria from both your primary care doctor and a certified psychiatrist. So it’s a little difficult but I understand that they have to take precautions due to the stigmas of trans people. That leads us to our next topic. -->
THREE (stigma and stereotypes with the trans agenda) I promised myself I wouldn’t get TOO into politics, but what can I say? The government has nothing to do with trans people? HA! Yeah, right! And I’m a ballerina. Conservatives, Republicans, the right-wing, blue states. Whatever you may call them they are.. different. They have been trying to get rid of LGBT+ rights for YEARS! Good luck with that! But they have gotten rid of trans rights in some states and it's a problem. It's ridiculous that people have to move to be themselves just because some grandma saw a trans woman expressing herself in the supermarket! I try not to make stereotypes but most Conservatives make the stereotype live and well. Just as liberals do the same! I can say that I am a liberal through and through. If anything I just believe in the Constitution. So if I choose a side I am a liberal. Anyway, let’s move on to our next topic. FOUR (living with bigoted parent(s or family) If you don't know what bigoted means, it means being closeminded. Not willing to look outside of your opinion or take insight from somebody else. AKA my mom. This woman will NOT try to learn anything about my sexuality or even my gender identity. I even try to drop hints here and there like “I’m not a macho man,” or “I’m so petite and I love it.”. I’m pretty sure I told her I was questioning like a year ago and I don't know, maybe she thought I was lying or just trying to fit in with society. Or get popular. If I WAS trying to get popular I failed MISERABLY. FIVE (coming out in public and online) this was EXTREMELY difficult for me. When I came out as bi in 8th grade I had lost a lot of friends but I decided 9th grade would be my year, I would come out as who I really was. A woman. I had repressed this part of me for a while and as soon as I told someone i was a woman I felt such relief. Like a thousand pounds was lifted off my shoulders. But there are consequences to this. People bully me, people deadname me. It happens and sadly that is the truth. There's nothing that can be done about it. People are not so friendly. Coming out online was much easier and I had done that long before I came out irl. It was validating.
