Linda When I get home, I put on my pajamas and sit in my bed, holding my guitar. I play a sad song my father taught me and think about Tara. I need to ask her soon, today I was too scared. In the school cafeteria on Friday, I look over at her table. She looks incredibly bored with her chin resting on her hand. Her green eyes move to meet mine and she smiles slightly. After a moment she starts talking to her friends again. “Linda! Hello?” Delilah says. I am pulled back to my table. “What?” I ask. “Do you have plans for your birthday?” she asks. “Oh, yeah. You guys can come over to my house at 6,” I say. Delilah, Polly, and Sara break into smiles. “Great! I’ll bake a cake to bring!” Polly exclaims. The bell rings and I head to Geometry. In class, I pull out my notebook and calculator from my bag and set them on my desk. I look at Tara sitting next to me. She is focused on her light blue nails and doesn’t even look at me. I wish she would at least glance over. Sometimes I wonder why she cares what people think. Mrs. Glenson walks in and starts the lesson. I want to get Tara’s attention without anyone noticing, so I rip off a piece of paper from my notebook and scrawl down a note. It says: “Bring sparklers tonight :)” With the note in my hand, I move my arm to my side and reach out to give it to Tara. She doesn’t even steal a glance at me but reaches out her hand to take it. Before she can, Mrs. Glenson says, “Linda, would you like to share that note with the class?” “No Mrs. Glenson,” I answer. The whole class is looking at me, some let out quiet giggles. Mrs. Glenson stares at me with narrowed eyes and reaches over to grab it. I react quickly and pull it away. Then, I rip it up into tiny shreds. “Principal’s office. NOW!” she shrieks. At home, my parents are furious. I just tell them I feel sick, stomp across the hall to my room, and slam the door. It was a hard day. After the principal talked with me, I got through the rest of my classes in a state of gloom. I just need Tara to understand what I have to say, so I text her to meet up in 10 minutes. I open the window and squeeze out, then run across my backyard to the trail that runs behind all the houses on my street. Tara lives 4 houses down but I have never even been inside her home. As I walk, sweat trickles down my forehead. The warm spring day makes me regret not changing after I got home from school. I am wearing dark blue jeans and a striped pullover, and I don’t even have any shoes on. All the bright yellow dandelions lift my spirits slightly, but I still feel a sense of sadness. When I arrive at the clearing, Tara is waiting for me. “Hey! What did you write in that note earlier?” she asks. “Oh, nothing important. But I want to talk to you about something,” I tell her, “Come, sit down.” We sit by the edge of the pond, the water lapping tiny waves onto the shore. “I don’t want to hide our friendship anymore,” I say. Tara hesitates for a minute. “You know I can’t do that,” Tara explains, “It would destroy my life!” This makes my blood start to boil. It seems like I barely even matter to her. Her eyes go wide as she realizes what she said. “Linda I didn’t mean it like that. Please listen to—” I stand up and shout, “Well I’m sorry that I’m such a life ruiner!” Tara stays quiet and bows her head while sitting on the grass. I turn around and stomp into the woods without looking back at her.
Tara I text Linda my apologies over and over to no reply. I am sitting in my bed with tears falling down my face. “Tara, dinner!!!” my mom calls from downstairs. I don’t want to go down so I shout, “I’m not hungry, I’ll eat later!!!” I grab my notebook from my nightstand and open it up to my most recent poem, the one I read to Linda. Tears drip down from my face onto the lined paper, blurring the words that I wrote. I rip the paper from the notebook and tear it to pieces. Then I lean back onto my pillow and fall asleep. I decide it’s best to give her space as I get ready for school the next morning. She will come to realize that this arrangement is best for both of us. I most definitely do not want to go to school, but my mother insists. I’m feeling lazy today, so I put on sweatpants and an old T-shirt and leave. “Tara, what are you wearing!?” Kaitlyn whisper-yells to me in English class. “I woke up late today and didn't have time to get ready,” I tell her while drawing a hut and a pond on my paper. She just rolls her eyes and turns toward the teacher. I look down at my T-shirt, it has a guinea pig with glasses on it. On any other day, I would be embarrassed, but today I am too worried about Linda to care. I think the shirt is cute anyway. I try to catch her eye 3 desks across from me, but her eyes are glued to her paper. For the first time in over a year, I am not excited to be home from school. It kills me to be sitting here in my room doing absolutely nothing. I think of coming clean to my parents, but they would probably ground me, or never let me out of the house again. I can’t think of anything to write a poem about, but I try anyway. I pick up my purple notebook and pencil and stare at an empty page. I wonder what Linda is doing right now. An idea starts to form in my head when my door slams open. My little brother Lucas is standing in the doorway holding a toy gun aimed at me. “LUCAS GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!” I scream. He jumps back from surprise and his chin starts to wobble. Tears form in his eyes and run down his sad face. Now I feel horrible about yelling at him and he starts bawling loudly. My mom arrives and scolds me for about 5 minutes, but I block it all out. I want to start crying too. Now I realize I have made a mistake, nothing is worth losing my best friend. She’s the only one who ever listens to me, who understands me. I can’t imagine how she must feel about me now, she must think I don’t even care about her. I have to apologize. “Tara Marie Greenwood!!! Are you even listening to me?” Mother asks as she rubs Lucas’s head. Lucas is standing by her side, clinging to her leg. “Yes, I’m sorry Lucas, I’m just stressed about homework,” I tell him. He nods and shuffles away. “Tara, are you okay?” aska mom. I stand up abruptly and start speed walking to the door. “I’ll be right back!” I yell across my shoulder while I’m hurrying down the stairs. I don’t bother to put on shoes as I go out the door. It starts to pour when I’m running down the street. My bare feet splash in the puddles on the hard sidewalk. I jump at the sound of a loud boom of thunder in the distance but keep going. I hope I have chosen the right address. I start walking up the driveway. What happens if her parents open the door and they recognize me? What if she won’t let me talk to her? I have so many doubts, but I don’t let them stop me from knocking on her door. Part 2 of my 3-part story - I hope you enjoy!
