My life finally seemed to be going up. I have good friends and a fun occupation to practice for and have fun with. That all changed a few months later. A new girl my and my friends accepted into our friend group started making fun of me and my friend because she's Korean and I'm Hispanic. This went on for a couple of days until we put the foot down and went out of our way to stay away from her. Because of this she started r^mors and constantly followed us around, scr3aming c^rse words and ins^lts. It went so far that she and her friends would throw stuff at me in class. I was able to manage because of my theatre group with two of my best friend in it. My friends who I nicknamed, Aquaman (He/him, tr^ns) and Owl Head (She/her, b!). All my life my mother has f0rced me into a Chr!stian life- style and I've had no room to decide for myself. When I developed a crush on Aquaman and Owl Head I began to d0ubt that I was a good person, as they started d^ting a few days later. I finally found out I was p^nrom^ntic and @sexual... and that didn't help me at all. Being a middle schooler with ADHD, @nxiety and D3pr3ssion I had already loathed my body-shape, looks and personality. I had also already s3lf-h@rm3d but no one knew about it of course... I couldn't get it out of my head that my mother would literally d!s0wn me if she found out that I found other females @ttractive. I wish I could talk to my friends about this but I feel g^ilty because I feel like they have it worse than me. Some having to take more m3ds than me and others with di!orced parents. Anytime I try, they g^ilt me into thinking I'm m3lodr^matic. People also make fun of me because I fl!nched easily... when I was young I had some very b^d friendships. My previous friends would h!t me when they didn't get their way or I did something that they didn't like. That memory has stuck with me to this day... My thoughts are always running around in my head as if they're running a marathon for their lives... sometimes I feel like my own l!fe is simply hanging by a thr3ad. I've already had two and don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from having a third at one point. I still have a crush on Aquaman and Owl head to this day and I don't think they'll ever know. I know Aquaman will be ^ngry and I can't lose them. They're some of the only people I have left in this world. Well... to whoever's still reading this. Thank you for letting me rant. Have a great day and know that you are loved <3 Edit 5/3: Unshared by ST, reshared by me...
