writingi

Instructions

cw mentions of self exit, blood body horror, mental issues, non consensual no nos, prob other things idk :3 please remove all my teeth .For i want to remain kind despite my anger and wish no harm upon Him,Though i acknowledge the vile things he has done but still i crave to be the girl i dreamed to be No matter the costs or the hardships. soon may the sun rest in my eyes and the stars in my lashes . The wind in my hair and the heat on my skin I wish to embody the girl in my fantasies or in the Shows,maybe even the books. But i will not because i can not And that is not self doubt! that is simply A fact of the truth and truth be told i have also done many things.I greatly hope they are not to the extent of his actions, But im only one (1) View. how can i tell how other people may feel? or think, percieve, see? I can only see my part.s I have lived with this pressure for my whole life even since i was just Little. maybe one Night i will have some sense or some understanding, But doubt runs in my blood. Through my eyes and out my nose! how to get rid of something sewn into you? i wake up and maybe it should Have been something to be sad about or something To be happy about but i just wake.I get up and walk to the door and make breakfast. I'm lying. i stay in the bed as nothing runs through the space between my ears and the pillow feels like it is numbing my cheek! i do not feel real. and then I see the curtains swaying and my eyes snap. Some sense of cleared air fills me and then i get up. My legs sway and my vision goes blank because i Suck [booty] at remembering to eat properly and I have iron issues. Hip hip hooray!!!! maybe. Maybe maybe maybe maybe is what i keep wanting to write and say but there is no may to be. It either will or will not and that is why I tried to [kay em ess] once (three times but They dont know that!) for i was only in the hospital Once .they put a needle into my arm and Even after they removed the thing i could STILL FEEL IT!!!!!! Crazy crazy things are in this world. this place Amazes me everyday when i see the trees or the animals But also when i see unkind people.I am one myself i must admit! i Own up to my mistakes (Sometimes….) but some are more unkind Than others. I understand being unkind to a Human but if you are unkind to an animal I hope when Beautiful things happen to you,You do not believe you are deserving of them. Much love May come into your life but you will constantly question if it is Genuine,but you will never truly accept that it is. That is what fate i hope you have.People may always change it is just the problems of who will Forgive them,No one is supposed to or required to agree or forgive you.And you must remember that. Nothing really matters and that is not in a Depressed way, Nothing matters. If you think of the inner workings, gears, and logistics of this plane on which we live then you have to admit nothing matters. Every punishment only works if you have empathy, Remorse or “basic human needs' ' Which does not make sense to me. any problem could be solved by killing yourself! I am not kidding or Pulling your leg right npw…. you are arrested? bang your head Against the wall until you bleed out and die. You can not care about anything if you are gone! I believe there is not an afterlife. your body is stationary and stays When you die but a consciousness does not exist,Its not real. rebirth is not a thing and it is cruel to put a life into a place they did not ask to be in, it is selfish. But everyone does theyre own thing and i can respect that.