it’s fun. last day of school had just passed but i still find myself sitting in front of a full body mirror in my room, reminiscing not the year - but the friendship i wish i still had. i love you, i miss you, but it didn’t work out. i’m the bad person here. i held your hand too long, we aren’t lovers, just friends. i leaned against your shoulder too long. you aren’t a pillar, i’m just dependent. i’m too irritable. you did no wrong, you act like you don’t know me. i looked at your wounds too long. my heart totally didn’t drop to my stomach, im just zoned out. i hyperfixate on people. i cared for too long, your jacket is still cold. i still have the things you liked. plushies you loved on my desk corner, the jacket you’d always take from me. i didn’t walk by the water fountain today, where you’d almost get my phone wet because you had to stop from trying to catch up. stood on the bridge where we’d compliment the water after esports. drove past your house today. i felt sick. it’s a world where only the strong survive and i’m succumbing now that i’m on my own. it’s like hibiscus tea - it’s acquired taste otherwise it’s sour. i can’t acquire what i’m unwilling to taste again. someone has to give me a reason to. hands shaking, but at least i did my makeup so i’m pretty while i cry.
i don’t know if you’ll read this, or if anyone will but.. yeah. i needed to get this out to people out there. i’m desperate for that company for the upcoming lonely summer.
