little bit of a sad(?) rant below, just a tw!!! There's extra art inside, if that interests anybody. ----- My parents told me once that birthdays get less exciting as you get older. Naturally, I thought "that'll never be me." However, I've kind of stopped looking forward to my birthday, especially this year for some reason. I've been so tired, and sad for no reason at all? I've cried multiple times, wanted to make irrational decisions, and I'm overall just... not feeling great. It's not anybody's fault, and yeah I'll have a good time, I hope, but the thought of it doesn't really help. I've been to two parties this weekend and my social battery is at an all-time low. I have finals on my birthday and I'm trying to make time for cramming in studying, art, slowly writing the Splatoon fic, keeping up with my assignments, and because I haven't been able to do the latter, I have to do all the after-dinner chores this entire week. It's exhausting, genuinely. Combine that with everything that has been weighing me down emotionally already(the drama with certain people) and it's all just... too much. I have to hold back tears at every minor inconvenience because its, again, just too much for me to take. I remember when I was younger, getting older would feel like some sort of pokemon evolution, big and dramatic, and "HEY I'M OLDER NOW!!!!!!!!!" and now it just. doesn't. Now I'm worried about making it to adulthood, worried that my stupid work ethic is gonna wreck me and I won't be able to get a job. I don't know why I feel so bad. I think it's just a combination of crappy tbh. So much has changed from last year, but I know I'm gonna do better this time. I promise I'm going to do better. This year won't be as bad, I promise.
anyways happy birthday to me sorry about the lack of a big birthday project like last year, I tried, I really freaking tried. but it was just way too much for me
