"There's a man in the woods" ToPh evil(?) Frostface AU

Instructions

Turn the sound on and click the flag (maybe twice) ------------------------------------------------------------------ "There's a k1ller in the woods". What a spectacle. Before the stories started, this clan was still respectable. The kits and apprentices used to skip down the hill to the catmint Pluck a couple leaves, And chew them up till they picked their fill. Except one obnoxious kit, Perfectkit. Who just watched them eat the leaves While he seethed and scowled Cause he couldn't bear to share his bitter treats throughout out our lazy mornings. I remember Perfectkit saying: "There's a k1ller in the woods!" That's how the rumors began. Of course, Perfectkit had spotted him first. The poor kits. He got ‘em immersed in his spiel About a serial k1ller whose sharpened claw glint hints at peril. A visit to my den, or worse, the ground, Waiting just beyond the dell. The kits saw him everywhere. "Look! Over there!" "That cat had pointy grey ears! We - we swear!" "And crazy teal eyes!" "We saw something shiny! His claws? It must be!" "I saw a cat’s s3v3red thigh!" Trust me, Every word I heard was absurd. Yet each day, Perfectkit would stray down Way past the 'safe zone'. Who else was brave enough to save us from the k1ller’s next plot? The rest of the lot would stop back in the camp, Sure that any closer they were bound to be found Deep in the woods, left to r0t. I pleaded for the kits to think, And learn to be mature, But after a few more rumors doomed my attempts to prove The clan was secure: Their fear was undeterred. And when the sunset drove them all to their den, The parents finally heard. Everything just blew up. I received a wall Of calls Full of shrieks, wails, and all, From terrified families Who’d heard word of the murd3r3r, And didn’t like my similar physical description at all. What was I supposed to do? Somehow prove what I wasn't? Yeah, right. Could you? That means I am guilty? That’s not fair! The stories that worried you weren’t true. Of course I would feel regret, Had there been a real threat And I ignored or caused it, And some poor kit got k1dnapped While everyone else was napping. But you couldn’t admit that your Good little kit Would formulate a fib So you ignored what I said. Your little angels could never cook up such incredible creations? "An overactive imagination, maybe, but my kit could never lie!" How dare I. Accuse a kit of being dishonest? Just monstrous! The parents were displeased, And when Mintstar took action, he dismissed me from the med den. Like HE knew what was best for his clan! Do you know how difficult it is to get a job When a bitter mom Slanders your rep With kit neglect From the outset? NOW who’s in control of your clan's health?! Single file lines! Single file lines. Little vile swine, A k1ller by the pines, Really? Are you blind? Will you find your spines? Perfectkit. A kit decides To fill our minds with lies And the next you see Is clanmates treating me Like I’ve committed crimes. I WAS IN MY PRIME! That clan was lucky to have me. Do you see what you did?! But I can play along. I can be good. Do you hear that, Perfectkit? There’s a k1ller in the woods.