alright, let‘s do this. it‘s been over a year since i came out, both online and to my parents, as genderfae and aceflux. i received a huge amount of support last year from so many people. thank you all so much <3 i no longer identify with the aceflux genderfae label. on may seventeenth to nineteenth, i saw one play and a little over half of another show of that play. these were the same play, but performed by two separate casts. these performances helped me learn immensely important things about myself. as some of you might know, i had had a “crush“ for over a year at that time. because of those shows, i realized that that wasn’t a crush. i felt no romantic attraction to the person, and i felt no other types of attraction either. i called it a crush because i didn‘t know what else to call it. it might have been a queer platonic crush, but one thing‘s for sure: i didn‘t have a crush on that person. i‘m not sure if i‘ve ever had a crush on anyone, really. at least before then. i got over my qpc on them during the course, and because of those shows. there have been some moments in my life where i‘ve thought whoa, this girl is really cool. but they were few and fleeting, and i always thought that i was straight, that i had “crushes“ on boys. during that last half performance of that play, i realized something huge and important. something i had not conscious of but had been gradually happening for a while. these feelings are different and new, and i am positive this is my first true instance of this. i have a crush, an actual crush on someone. and it‘s not someone who uses he and him pronouns. i like feminine and feminine aligning people. i am dropping the aceflux label as i don‘t identify with it anymore, and i am coming out as lesbian. some of you might have guessed because of my icon, made by my fellow lesbian friend :] i also no longer identify with the genderfae logo. i don‘t know what gender i am, but i‘m something feminine aligning. and i don‘t mind if it takes me a bit to find out. for now, i‘m content with relaxing. aaand focusing ( + freaking out ) on my major role in a musical while scripting a different show and hoping that my crush comes to see me. such is the life of a thespian :] and if you‘re questioning, don‘t worry. i‘ve been there. but a friend once told me that i‘d figure it out, and i did. you‘ll find your way. cocoa signing off.
