Let’s start with something totally unrelated but it’ll come in later. Okay, so I went in for a trim before I go to summer camp at my mom’s salon today. I really liked what the guy had done with my hair last time so I asked for it to be like that just for him to trim the sideburns a bit more this time. However, the result is NOT like what I first got in my opinion and I regret getting it trimmed. I should’ve just asked for the sideburns to be trimmed, darn it. What happened was that I did get my sideburns trimmed, but that’s, like, the only part about my cut that I like. The bangs are INCREDIBLY short. It’s wild how short they are. Before I got the cut trimmed, I could mess with my bangs all I wanted. It was very free and fun to try out new bang styles. Now it’s just…lifeless and still and I hate my bangs. And the top has a lot of volume to make it look like a flip-flopping hair cap and I hate it SO much. I was trying not to cry in the salon and when I got home I cried. I felt spoiled though, because I’m lucky to even be able to get this haircut. I have been accused many times by my friends of being spoiled, and I’ve thought about it before, but I wanted to dismiss it. It was quieter before. It’s louder now. Hopefully this won’t make them upset if they do happen to find this somehow, which is very unlikely (I hope). I don’t consider myself spoiled, but maybe that’s what spoiled people think. Yes, I live in a big house and money has never been a problem in my family. But, I mean, I’m not straight up GIVEN free stuff without working or anything. I mean, I’m only rewarded if I do something remarkable to my parents. Like, if I got straight A’s or something (I’m not an amazing student). But (and omg I’m crying right now) this experience is making me wonder if I’m spoiled. I don’t want to be spoiled, I don’t want to appear that way, I don’t want to be that kind of person, but here I am. Venting about it. Scratch is a privilege too. I might’ve lost that privilege if I lived in a different family. Lots of things are going on in my life and these thoughts coming up are not helping. Gosh, I wish I didn’t have to go to camp like this. And gosh, I hope my parents don’t see this. I do one bad thing on a device and they decide not to give me any more privacy. DOES THAT SOUND SPOILED TO YOU?!?!? Oh god, I’m lashing out. Another thing a spoiled brat might do. People are making me feel bad for things I’ve done in the past and it’s making it really hard to be an optimist right now unless I’m distracted from everything. Which is getting harder by the minute. Maybe Scratch isn’t helping, and I should distance myself. But I’m honestly addicted to the online world because it’s such a distraction at this point. Besides no one would really notice if I quit anyways. I’m sorry if this is coming off as attention-seeking or sort of pick-me behavior (I’ve been called that plenty of times I don’t need to hear it again), I just wanted to know if someone’s going through the same thing or a similar experience and has any advice. Every day on Earth is getting harder to live in and nothing is helping, especially not Scratch. Really, if anyone has advice, I’d love to hear it. Let’s see if ST bans me. - Tamino
