Letter chosen: J, I used a random number generator to give me a number between 1 and 26, got 10. J is the tenth letter. I used chat for to give me a prompt and a song, bc I har no idea what to write
I bet on losing dogs, why? They remind me of me. Somehow in some twisted way they do. I invest in things emotionally, become trapped in it, I don’t know why. But it is what it is. And I know I’ll never win, I’ll never come out as a victor. I can’t help but do it. And I lose so much. I bet on things and gain nothing. I gain nothing. I gain nothing. But it is what it is. And it’ll stay that way, for however long. I couldn’t care less. I’ll never be a first choice, I’ll never be a choice. And it’s annoying, but you get used to it. Over time. The pain comes and goes. Some days it’s ok, you’ll forget. Others the thoughts consume you and it feels like everything might be over. You have no one to talk to, and your feelings swallow you whole. It eats away at you, taking every last bit of happiness away. When you give so much and never get anything back. It takes so much of you, it takes so much and you’ll slowly lose yourself. Could it count as self-destruction? Surely. But I’ll never know if I do it on purpose. I’ve been here so many time. Yet I never get out, but it’s all I know. This feeling. It’s all I know. I know maybe one day a losing dog may be victorious, but it’s definitely not now. Not anytime soon. I know and it’s the truth. And maybe that means one day it’ll happen too me too. And I’ll win. And be someone’s first choice. I’ll get away, one day. When I’m ready to finally overcome this feeling, when I choose the right dog to bet on. And it’ll be fine. It will. One day.
