Flower Repellent! So, dear soul, you may be wondering what that is - Is it some sort of all-natural repellent made from flowers? Is it the usage of flowers to keep unwanted garden visitors away? Well, if you’re happening to be thinking anything remotely close to these thoughts, you should probably leave! One of those pesky garden enthusiasts, are you; enjoying leaves and blooms and pollen of all things. You do realize that this makes you an ‘unwanted garden visitor’ yourself, right? The plants don’t like you back. Enough of that, our Flower Repellent is exactly what it sounds like, no elaborate schemes or whatnot. It’s a tested sauce for your dirt to prevent any sort of plant growth! Tired of greenery and annoying little sprouts messing up your beautifully cultivated patch of dirt? Our product might be right for you! We use grocery-store found ingredients to create our potion, which makes it completely safe (because why would you sell unsafe things at a store?). Diet Coke, bleach, vinegar, ammonia, dish soap, Kool-Aid, and grape juice never hurt anyone, amirite! (Manufacturer’s Note please don’t try this at home I genuinely don’t know what happens :D) To our fellows looking to maintain a completely dead dirt patch, try Flower Repellent today! Our product, which is packaged in bright rainbow milk cartons, can be found in a variety of common stores such as Lowes, Home Depot, Costco, and IKEA* (*employee ask). QUANTAVIUS III (4 stars) (verified purchase) I almost died upon opening the bottle. That being said, Flower Repellent works like a charm. So well, in fact, that it acts as People Repellent too - my neighbors have all moved away. DJUNGLESKOG (5 stars) (verified purchase) My dirt,,,,.. she’s thriving,,,... thank you :))) When I’m sad I like to hang out in my Flower-Repellent dirt patch because no one can see me. The smell of wet earth is very comforting. MARY (5 stars) (most helpful review) Not even a dandelion can survive in my carefully laid out dirt patch now. Flower Repellent also works as a bug summoner. That’s fun, I like bugs. I’m writing this review as I’m hanging out with all my snails.
genuinely don't know what possessed me to write this i'm sorry </3 nothing makes sense anymore and i need help :D
