304 words hey lio! this is by far one of the most impressive pieces I've critiqued, you're such an amazing and adept writer <33 your style and narrative voice is so unique, i was very impressed by this entire piece <33 your imagery is great, and the way you play with language makes me so jealous! at certain points i felt like i was reading prose poetry because of how poetic the language you use is-- you did an awesome job for a daily! i particularly liked how you incorporated the flowers throughout the piece, i thought that was done extremely well and it wasn't too on the nose <33 in terms of critique, i didn't find much wrong with your piece! however, at some times, i felt the physical plot was kind of hard to follow-- perhaps it's my lack of sleep, but i was confused about what was actually happening throughout the story. i got bits and pieces of what was happening, but i couldn't connect them together in my head. maybe that's just me though. i also think there are some issues with clarity in this piece-- i had to reread many of the lines to try to understand what the lines were saying. again, maybe it is my sleep deprivation, but at some points i gave up on understanding some of the lines (mostly it's the lines with very quirky sentence structures). i also noticed there was a lot of comma splices throughout this piece-- i think comma splices can be done stylistically, but i felt that the comma splices in this piece just added to my confusion. beyond the issues with clarity and continuity, everything else was fantastic! your word choice is impeccable, your metaphors were exceptional, and overall this was a wonderful piece! thanks for letting me critique this lio!
