Writing and coding by @28mangumagl
Spelling and Grammar: 10/10. No spelling or grammar errors that I could see. Idea Originality: 8/10. This concept has definitely been used before, but it's not one you see very often. Idea Execution: 6/10. One thought I had multiple times while reading was that the story was EXTREMELY rushed; it probably would have done better as novel length. It could have also done with a little more 'Show, Don't Tell' here and there, but otherwise pretty well done. Dialogue: 7/10. Every now and then it seems a little odd for the time period, but overall it doesn't seem too forced. Character Development: 3/10, but that's mostly because it's a short story, and there's plenty of detail and potential for development. Overall: 7/10. Other: Definite flaws, but nothing unfixable. In the end this is a pretty nice short story with excellent potential to become a well-turned chapter book!
