TW: Sensitive topics ig? Feelings of worthlessness, uselessness, and numbness? Don't report, if you get triggered, it's your fault for reading this goofy bAbY'S vent I feel so /weird/ saying this. I don't feel like I should vent bc I literally call my group of friends the sewer side squad(censoring bc scratch thinks saying the real word is 'cursing'). But I just feel so /useless/. I lost almost all motivation a while ago. My mental health started decreasing at the age of 8. My mom h!t me today, even if it was soft and on the /arm/, it still stung and triggered me to remember things My dad is a b!g0t, and low-key accidental body shamer who's clueless to the world around him's emotions I hate my body I hate this place Everything hurts. It all plays on loop, the shelf, the fruit punch, water filling my jaw, the feeling of my throat being blocked off, unexistent icy hands reaching for mine, old and new nightmares(a few examples with little to no context/detail). I don't understand what the h3ll i'm supposed to do anymore Then I just feel empty suddenly I feel so guilty for saying anything I know people who have it worse Every little statement, small gesture sets me off in a downward spiral of stress, anxiety, and anger. My whole life, I've only ever had one person be positive about my body, but she's the same one who h!t me and my brother when we were little I know it isn't that bad, considering parents, and she hasn't /really/ been that way for 2 years. I know I should just get over it. Plus, the whole walmart-thing happened in third grade, and even then I was being dramatic. I'm the oldest, I should have it /together/, but I just...don't. I know I'm weak and less than that way. Spoofified, life and me matched on tinder, life punched me because I said didn't feel attracted to it.
meeeee
