Lyrics- EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! David Copperfield! Versus! Harry Houdini! BEGIN! You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini! Slippery like linguine, sneaking out of teeny-weeny Little spaces small enough to fit your talent, David You're not a challenge David Your biggest endeavor's your bank account balances, baby! So abracadabra, you billowy ••••• Man, you look like a pirate on a Las Vegas strip I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil, you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag A batter with patter and matter of fact You can't match my skill if you saw me in half When I was a child, you were a god to me I had to do what you do But now you're like a Chinese wall to me •••••, I'll walk right through you This ain't the magic that you're used to I float on ropes, hands free, like it's Bluetooth My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant You failed at making movies, and you failed at making kids You should stick to what you're good at and lock them lips (Ohh!) Here's a tidbit that might drive you nuts I bought half of your ••••, and I keep it locked up Got the slim fingers that were built for sleights You're a chunky stuntman; dressed in tights You talk •••• about your hero; that ain't right But you can look up to me now; I know you like heights Ah! Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering I'm hanging by my ankles, on a crane I dangle I got locks on my fingers that you couldn't handle Smash your mirrors while your flying wires tangle You can't hide shame with a camera angle Did somebody say Angel? No Oh See what they'd be watching if it wasn't for me? I remind the world that magic is supposed to make you happy While you waste time proving everybody wrong I'm backstage getting my supermodel groove on You should relax, take a private trip To my private island, •••• my private •••• I summon up a little Halloween brunch Deep-fried sucker with a side of punch WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC. RAP. BATTLES ...OF HISTORY!
