whoa- uh- just experienced the craziest rush of gender dysphoria? I'm extremely confused because this hasn't really happened before? I don't really know what to do about this, but idk, it happened and I want advice, because I literally spent an hour last night drawing myself as a boy?? Tbh, I don't regret any of my thoughts or drawings that I did last night, which is also strange, because when I was doing thinking and drawing, I felt so much confusion and fear. I think, I do wish I was trans. But I don't know how I would transition, or what it would be like. What if I were to change my mind? What it I get bullied? Ughh All I know is that I h8 being a girl. It svcks. Girls svck. There's stereotypes, there's the uncomfortableness, the fear that I might not act right, and being concerned about my appearance. All those things just cram together and I feel so stuck. Stuck between stereotypes, stuck h8ing myself because I don't look or talk like other girls. Because I don't have their interests. Because I act different, dress different, think different. Maybe if I transitioned, I would feel more comfortable. I would go out more, be more social. Instead of hiding in my room all day and being the weird, antisocial kid. Honestly, would I even be that different? I would wear the same clothes, I would have the same interests. I just would maybe feel less weird for being myself. And maybe if I was a boy, I would be happier. Maybe that would be the change that I always talk about wanting. A change that would change me, but also wouldn't. Anyways, I honestly would just like some advice, or some comfort. idk. Anything would be great at this point. (Argghhh idk when my next therapy session is TvT)
