“forever.” I didn’t know what to think when I heard that. I didn’t know what to even do. I just knew that all I saw was red. And soon, red was on my hands. I lost control more often. Whenever I blinked, something terrible would happen. I found myself in between times that seem splintered. It was almost as if I was looking back, then forward, then back, then forward in time. It was terrifying. … But sometimes it would be worse than just that. I would find myself in the middle of a rampage. And to a sickening extent, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed watching my hands doing things they never would do. I enjoyed destroying souls as they tried to escape. I was connected to loose puppet strings, but I strung them tighter to my limbs. When I found myself dreaming of my past, I reverted back to the present. I simply couldn’t let go. Every time I tried, I failed to connect with my rage. Every time I failed, somebody paid the price. It wasn’t me. I knew it wasn’t me. It was never me. I knew for a fact I was someone before this, someone underneath this. But I couldn’t reach out to that side. So I watched as I did things unimaginable. In my mind, I smiled. And maybe I was smiling on the outside too.
