1 year on scratch and 3 days till I leave and I'm already questioning this again. this is like the 5th time I've considered leaving and decided not to (except maybe not this time). I hate doing this so f king much because then I come back and realize that was such a bad decision. I guess the reason I'm doing this is because i'll miss my friends so much but then again while I treasure y'all so so much maybe it's time to move on from this part of my life?? but that's really depressing to me like I don't want to abandon you guys. but also I want to escape all the toxic people and like i'm about to get DEEP with you guys but maybe scratch was only interesting for me because of that??? like I had only gone on here using that as an excuse like 'i have to see what j3ss did this time I gotta help my friends' but its just too much of a commitment for me to have to (or at least feel obliged to) do that. like i've been telling fae and everyone else scratch is so boring but maybe it's because of that? I honestly don't know. also today I sort realize I just need to appreciate the things I have in real life and not the things I hate so I can use it as an excuse to go on scratch like my cousin, my irl friends who are not awful for me, books and my dog and my parents and so so so much more that i've kicked out of my life because of this toxic space the creators of it call a kids website and a community and safe space when I literally daily find innapropriate lets just say to it permits me to post the project projects each day like I dont want to be here I literally want to chuck my fking computer into the ocean right now I'm dead serious I fking hate this. I wish I never discovered scratch. I wish I never thought I could make a commitment to this and actually did for a whole fking year. I. HATE. THIS. I LITERALLY CANT DEAL WITH THIS BECAUSE MY ONLY REAL FRIENDS ARE DATING SOMEONE FOR NO REASON AND ABANDONING ME AND MY OTHER ONE IS BEING SNOOTY AND I JUST CANT DO THIS ANYMORE BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO BE HERE MY FRIENDS SE ME GETTING BULLIED AND YOU SEE ImMA COME ON HERE AT 3 AM SEEING IF ANYONE RESPONDED BECAUSE I AM SO DESPERATE FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT ME
