I wrote a poem using real quotes from my classmate, Maria. (This is not her real name. All names are changed for privacy.) She is unintentionally amusing. Maria-May “Who even is Old Major?” Her head is so hollow. “Is it 2025?” She asks in September '24. ”The Sun isn’t bigger than the Earth.” No wonder she has fails and 4s. “Blue dye is just blue in a bottle.” Maria’s a toilet troglodyte. “He was a great guy,” She says of the man she bullied out. “Rice is a tree!” Shiny skin, sad smile. “Awww, Miss Smith’s cute.” Her sweetness is sour. “Nah, I don’t like that.” Can’t face the facts. “Nah, I don’t believe that.” Refuses reality. “Can we do a practical?” Pages and pages of plain paper. “Ow, my fingers!” Consensually copying off classmates. “Mason” this, “Mason” that. Adolescent amour… “Lucas, Lucas, Lucas!” Teenage teasing.
Thanks to Maria-May for providing these interesting sentences, and for generally brightening my day with her craziness. Some of her other quotes are: “You’re telling me there are people on this planet who have SEEN VENUS?!” ”Did you know, it’s legal to marry a dog?” “Do dogs have hearts?” “Oh, the capital letters…” *shakes head sadly* “If white is all the colours, why does every colour make brown?” “It’s crazy. We’re floating in the sky right now.” “Miss Neville is the reason we all failed Physics.” “Amsterdam’s in Holland? I thought it was near Manchester.”
