(more coming soon-ish (maybe)) IBM: Okay, truth or dare? Dawktrep: Truth IBM: How many hours have you slept this week? Dawktrep: Dawktrep: ...Dare IBM: Go to bed. Dawktrep: I don’t like this game. Dawktrep: I prevented a murder today. IBM: Really? How’d you do that? Dawktrep: self control. IBM: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Dawktrep: *chugs entire bottle* Dawktrep: It’s perfume. IBM, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day! Dawktrep: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar, Dawktrep: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the F{ri}CK happened to you?! IBM, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS Dawktrep: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU F{ri}CKING POSSESSED?! Dawktrep: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND IBM, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ IBM: *holding a crayon* Dawktrep: IBM, IS THAT A W33D? IBM: N-no it's a crayo— Dawktrep: I'M CALLING THE POLICE *presses 9-1-1 on the microwave* The Microwave: 911, what’s your emergency IBM: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Dawktrep: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police IBM: This is such a bad idea. Dawktrep: Then why are you coming along? IBM: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong. Dawktrep: A theif. IBM: Thief? Dawktrep: Theif. IBM: I before E, except after C. Dawktrep: Thceif. IBM: No. Dawktrep: *Kicks the door down looking panicked* IBM: What did you do? Dawktrep: Nobody died. IBM: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?! IBM: How petty can you get? Dawktrep: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about. Dawktrep: It's very unhealthy to bottle up all your negative feelings. IBM: I know. That's why I bottle up the positive ones too. Dawktrep: IBM: So they cancel out. Dawktrep: Dawktrep: *running away from IBM and screaming* IBM, getting out of a car: WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? Dawktrep: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen! IBM: Really? Name one law Dawktrep: Don't kill people? IBM: That's on me. I set the bar too low. IBM: That awkward moment when you're scrolling through someone's old Instagram posts and you accidentally comment the entire Declaration of Independence. IBM: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes. Dawktrep: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD. IBM: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time? Dawktrep: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* IBM: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE F{ri}CKIN’ STAIRS.
