little rant because I have absolutely no one to talk to, I cant talk to family because I don't want them to worry or think I need a therapist since I went through some traumatic things when I was younger. yesterday I went on a field trip, I went with 2 of my friends, I'll say their names since they don't have scratch, *Indiah and Katherine* When we got on the bus we all sat in a 3 seater without any type of problems, I was listening to music the whole time, we took some pictures. but for some reason I saw them looking at me weirdly, and they were whispering about something every now and then. I shook it off not thinking it was anything to worry about. when we got on the bus after the field trip we were lining up to get back in, they were whispering to each other and I was talking to my other friend I made during the field trip, they both turned around and said, "Emi, go ahead of us because we don't want you sitting with us." I looked at them weirdly because they were just shoving me in front of them so I would get on first. Maybe I was in the wrong for pushing them back but I did that because I don't like people pushing me around, like they were both pushing me from behind them trying to make me go Infront of them but I was never even talking to them. maybe it's just me? my friend was looking at them weirdly too though, anyways after I pushed them Infront of me after they pushed me Infront of them 2x and were completely body blocking me from my friend I finally spoke up. "I wasn't even trying to sit with you guys anyways so stop pushing me." Is what I said or something along the lines of it I don't remember. but they just said "oh." and got on the bus, e and my friend front across from them and one row back because honestly I didn't want them to continue talking to me after that because that's extremely embarassing on my end, I thought they were my friends. When me and my friend sat a row back and across they both turned their heads to me and looked at me weirdly again like bro if you don't want me sitting with you I'm not going to? I'm going to give you your space. Anyways that was it, I don't really need anyone to talk to me about it I don't think, this was just a rant because I don't have a journal or diary, and cant talk to anyone about it because i'm supposed to be the type of calm and chill friend. :/
I felt like crying while typing this.
