This is a 99% accurate cure for the hiccups that has worked every time we've tried it. next one will be for the funnies. this one is serious. if it doesn't work for you, well... we dunno, maybe just a really bad case?
this is an original cure deduced by our scientists. there are all of these weird cures out there that don't make much sense like, do jumping jacks, or drink water upside-down. this is much simpler.