Shower Thoughts (VENT)

Instructions

Don't feel obliged to read this btw VENT: I hate you I want to scream it at you And I do I look at you and I say it I hate you I hate you I hate you And you let me scream And point You let me tell you I hate you I hate you I hate you Because you know I hate you And you hate you, too I want to chop all your hair off Until you look different I want to change the way your body looks You beg me to do it Change me Change me I hate me I hate me You say But I can't do it Because what if it's a mistake What if it's just a phase What if I don't actually hate you I'm not supposed to hate you I'm supposed to love you Praise you Worship you But I can't Not when you are the way you are And it's so hard to hate you I don't hate what's on the inside Not so much as to scream it But the outside It doesn't reflect the inside It's so different And I hate you for it Look different Look different Why can't you look different Why were you born this way It's not fair to you But you feel the same way So you sit there And you wish And hope And pray And cry To look the way you feel To look the way you want to look And want to feel I want to change you I do I do But that would mean telling them Telling everyone That I hate you And they won't have it, I know Because they love you They think I love you And if I don't love you Maybe I'm the one who needs a change So I'll change me instead But you'll still be there Waiting to get out You want to be changed too It's not fair It's not fair We say it in unison We both don't want to be the way we are I hate you so much And nobody knows Even now The people reading Don't know who you are I know And I hate you even more for it And it's so hard to hate you Because it doesn't even matter It's so insignificant Both of us Insignificant And it doesn't even matter that I hate you so much That I want to change you And that you feel the same It doesn't matter And it makes me hate you more And I don't even want to hate you Or change you It's going to be so hard Every day To tell people That I hate you Wouldn't it be so much easier To just love you in the first place? They can do it I can too I can pretend Pretend to love you I don't hate you It'll be so much easier I won't have to let people know I'll just love you I love you I don't hate you Yes I do I want to kill you Take something sharp and tear away the parts I hate Until you're better You wish these labels That you have Didn't exist I wish you didn't exist Get out of my life But you can't You must go where I go I can't run away from you Go away Leave Please And yet you stay I hate you I hate you I hate you You know You hate you too And there's nothing we can do I think these thoughts And say these things As I look at my reflection And I wish I wish As I look at my reflection That you weren't staring back at me