I don't feel safe. I've never felt safe ever since I've moved into my uncle's. Sure I don't get hit anymore but it's terrifying. My uncle just yelled at me a few minutes ago because I had 20+ absences, and it turned out it was the schedule from last year and by the time they realized I was already sobbing. My mother didn't even care when he was screaming at me. He said sorry, but i'm still scared. This isn't even the first time he's done this. He threatened to throw me out or send me away from the people I care about because I got a 65 in a science test. (which isn't passing, 80+ is supposed to be passing.) I don't know where else to go to bc my friends are dealing with too much and I'm trying to be happy and silly for them but I genuinely don't know how much more I can deal without just snapping. I swear I'm either going to run away, call CPS or even worse. I have too many people who care on the line and I can't lose it for them, it feels so horrible with so much weight. I feel suffocated. I feel scared. I'm getting tired of how I almost break down when someone asks if I'm okay and even though I'm rotting inside and want to break down sobbing I can't and I know I can't so I just have to say I'm okay. It's so bad I've grown a habit of making up excuses if I'm tearing up and I cope by helping others. I'm so, so sorry if I'm worrying you, I needed to get at least something off my chest. :(
If you want, you can ignore this. There's a lot I think I unpacked. I'm going to keep acting happy, I just needed to post this because my life feels a bit stuffy and cornered rn.
