no no no no this can’t be happening not again not after rosebloom not after everything i’ve already lost stars why do you do this why do you sit so far away watching while we suffer while everything falls apart down here do you even care or are we just something to keep you entertained rosebloom gave everything for me and you didn’t stop it you didn’t save her you didn’t lift a single paw to protect her and now i’m left with this hole where she used to be this weight i’ll never shake i still see her smile in the faces of my kits i still hear her voice in the quiet but she’s gone and now catchflyleaf why didn’t you help her and why didn’t you give her the strength she needed when i couldn’t when i didn’t see how much she needed it she never let me in she never opened up and maybe she never would have but now i’ll never know she’s gone and it feels like everything i could have done to stop it is slipping through my claws why didn’t you let me do something why didn’t you let me see it sooner was i too busy with my kits too caught up in their lives to notice what was happening to you stars i was so blind my kits don’t deserve this they don’t deserve to lose more to grow up in the shadow of all this grief they don’t deserve to look at me and see a mother who wasn’t enough but what if that’s all they’ll ever see a mother who let rosebloom die a mother who let catchflyleaf die a mother who failed everyone she loved they’re sleeping now soft and warm and perfect they don’t know the weight i carry the guilt i can’t let go of they don’t know what they’ve lost or what i’ve lost stars please don’t take them from me don’t let them grow up to hate me don’t let them see the ways i’ve failed them i know im going to fail them i want to hug them and love them but i can't because what if i fail them too hey catchfly. hey rosebloom i loved you do you remember that? they’re all i have left please stars blinking down at us like guardian angels look me in the eyes and tell me that you can give because it feels like all you do is take take take until there's nothing left of anyone i ever loved until there's nothing left of me
following the death of catchflyleaf shes really sad giving so big / so small vibes wait i kinda wanna make that now she's in a believing but resenting starclan stage idk where to go with it
