Nothing ever okay everything that may seem okay slowly breaking where nobody sees it. Everything breaks one point or another. I mean think Abt it ^^ Me and Sean seems fine but we was breaking ^^ I mean look how fast me and axel went to not being friends. Yea and honestly I'm numb at this point. Its hard to feel pain rn. Everything falls to its end. its part of life. Yea ppl may wanna end it but what's the point all ur going to do is make someone else feel ur pain. SH never helps either anymore bc I cant do it deep enough to let all the pain flow out ^^ bc if I did I'd end up in the hospitel Trusting people mostly will let u down that's why its better to have less to no friends at all then a bunch of fake mothertruckers. Love just ends up hurting you in the end... either u dont feel like enough and its not true or u really ain't enough to make them stay. I don't see the point in trying to please people because ur always gonna upset someone on. And I rather feel ded inside then be put through hell like I have the past week. Now I'm sick and not in the mood to deal with someone so im just “making excuses" when in reality it hurts to use my voice rn. I always get blamed for something I didnt do or someone else did to me. I don't see the point it blaming someone for what u did to them. I cant keep taking everyone elses pain on top of my own bc then I just push my own pain down to make room for theirs and when they don't listen its like why tf ask for my help? ^^ then someone who says they ”love you” ends up forgetting what the said when it comes Infront of other people ^^ but says his gf toxic yet she magically In a friend group chat.... but ur expect to just forgive everyone bc forgive is in the bible and u always need to forgive one another but really some people don't deserve to be forgiven bc they have pushed u pass ur breaking point.... and the one thing no one ever gets is, “sorry” cant fix the scars deep down inside people have made. And if u say u don't like something someone does “u complain Abt everything” just bc I'm a female ^^ OH LETS GET INTO THAT TOOOO ^^ Me as a female cant warn other FEMALES Abt a SA without proof bc “it could ruin” His life? What abt my life if I was the one to get prego? I CAN’T GET RID OF IT bc I'd spend more time in jail then the person who made me have the kid without permission ^^ so I got to hope and prey when I got SA I had my period the next time ^^ And when its late I had to worry I might have been having a kid luckly I didnt ^^ If we say stop as a girl it means “yea sure take it” even tho we said STOP.... When we say no it means yes. We cant go into clubs or anywhere with drinks without being scared someone put something in it ^^ I almost got kick out of JROTC bc I warned my friends abt a guy who SA me in JROTC ^^... We wear clothes that we are told not to “we asking for it”... We get told to watch what we wear and do... but boys will be boys right? ^^ we get teached such things at a young age and when we turn out more muture for our age everyone ask why? Maybe bc we had to do a lot to just be a person and not an object.... but when we try to say something Abt it us girls are crazy to most men ^^ we don't make sense.... like what? We cant go out alone at night or day without being scared something might happpen.... We carry something to protect ourselves at all times.... There a such thing as national SA day and girls are scared to go to school on that said day.... most girl bring something to school to protect themselves on that day if they go..... but when we bring attention to the school they want to do nothing.... some girls lie saying they have a bf when they dont just to be left alone by guys.... and if a girl was SA by a guy we get asked “did u like it”, “how big was it”.... like no I didnt ask for it nor wanted it can u just leave me alone.... If we never slept someone we too “innocent” if we Slept 3 ppl we a sl^t..... If u was SA and didn't get help some state will make u even if ur not ready to relive it bc it just happened.... when we cry we being dramatic.. if we don't show anything then we too broken for uses ^^ if we aint pretty enough but have a good body we used... if we pretty and have no body we okay... if we both we get cheated on bc “we cheated....” even tho we never did.... if we say anything Abt anything to a men we b!tching.... if its not something good... and people wonder why girls change so much over time... maybe bc we slowly cant keep taking everything everyone makes us take a such a young age.... people wonder why most girls turn les and its bc men treat us like trash... dont get me wrong girls are also toxic asf.... but at least they don't make use feel like objects.... We find a great guy and someone has to come and lie to them about us and ruin it and then we cant get them back..
