trigger warning: sensitive topics, s3I4 hx4m, svI6Id3 NOT A LEAVING PROJ…I THINK: as you might know, ive been struggling with sv1c1d3 and family issues for the past year, therapists have come and gone but my depression wont. i just got a new one. everyone is making it almost impossible to let me live. i will never ever get to meet you all. ill never know who any of you are. ilyasfm, but ur still random people behind the screen, idk u, u dont know me. some of my friends do, and i havent met any of them i dont know what my purpose is anymore. why im here. my health has been declining rapidly, im serious, 12+ surgeries in 2 years. i took p1IIs alr. ive doen every medication. every diet. ive tried seI4 h47m at multiple points, ive got the scars to prove it. lacking sleep due to school work and extra academics, at the cost of what? what future am i waiting for? would i even be alive until then? im getting weak, i was paralyzed for 2 weeks once. 2 weeks of just staying still. i got nutrients injected into my arm through iv. idk if id consider myself healthy atp scratch isnt making it any easier. i, stressed out with everyone asking me to do everything, and go ahead, give me the bs u gave isla but idc. ive put more effort into scratch then some others. ive done better than others. im not the best but im so so so so so far from the worst, same with school, im getting replaced everywhere i go, is anyone even gonna notice me gone? my time might be up. why am i doing this, what am i here for..? im taking the biggest hiatus. i mean it. dont expect much from me after christmas, ill have a f2u collection out by the 25th, but then dont expect me back until first-second week january or smth idk anymore st has been distracting me from life in general. before i get someone commenting “nah shell be back after a while”. shut tf up i might be dying u think im coming back that quickly ? haha..no. so, yeah think before you comment, because shutting off my computer isnt easy i have to use this website for school. xoxo, ani,
old vent some information might be outdated (made 3 weeks ago. decided to psot it now bc im just not doing well)
