hey mom, it’s me. your son. your boy. i thought one day we would laugh together, one day we would have the time of our lives, exploring the forests of thunderclan. maybe even with orcalush, too. but then i found you lying there, right at the edge of that ravine, with that blood staining your pelt. i wish you were here with me again. i miss you, mom. do you miss me too? hey mom, it’s been so many moons since you’ve gone. i’ve almost lost track now. i’m finally a warrior! did you see me that day, when i received my name, anenomedrift? i always imagined you looking up at me from starclan, with that proud smile on your face. your eyes would twinkle, i remember it all. i wish you were here right now, i wish you would hug me or take me on one of your adventures, like we always did when i was a kit. why can’t i just be a kit again? your son, anenomedrift hey mom, i’ve always wondered why you brought me here, to thunderclan. was it because you wanted me to start a new life, here — with my clanmates? but i think again and all i can hear are the whispers that surrounded me, that anxious kit i used to be. did you really want that for me? i don’t know, mom. i know this is your clan. was your clan, i guess. it was supposed to be our clan too, but how can it be my clan, now, when all i think is about how much an outsider i am here? how much they all hate me here? what am i supposed to do without you? please come back to me hey mom, it’s been moons since i received my warrior name, i can’t believe it. i miss you, i really do. i miss the way we would smile at each other like nothing else mattered, the way you would guide me through thunderclan when i was just a little kit. you were the only light i could find here, after all this. but now you’re gone. and at first, i was angry, i was trying to figure out who would do such a thing, who would do that to you? and at first, i was heartbroken. mom, i was so, so sad. there were some days when the only thing i would do was lay in my nest, wishing and wanting and hoping you would be there when i woke up the next morning. but you weren’t, and i was alone. and mom, sometimes i got into fights. with my clanmates, even with huntress, once. but i promise didn’t mean it — i hope you know that. i miss you so much, mom. but even though my heart still aches and throbs, i’m trying, mom. i’m trying to find the good in things, like you always taught me to. i’m trying to keep my head up, to keep going and going. but then i just imagine you, up there, grinning at me like nothing made you happier, and i’m trying to let all this go. please don’t blame me, mom. i just want to be happy, even after all this. after all we’ve been through. your loving son hey mom, im leaving. i’m leaving. leaving and never coming back. you were the one cat who brought me here, to thunderclan. do i even have a place without you here beside me? i thought thunderclan was my home, maybe. but how can it be my home when you were the only thing chaining me to this life? i’m so sick of all of it, mom. i’m /sick/ of the way they look at me, i’m /sick/ of the things they say behind my back. and i’m tired, mom. i’m exhausted i’ve been holding on to this for so long, mom. i’ve been trying and trying and trying this whole time, mom. but when can i stop lifting this burden? when can i let go of this horrible weight on my back, all the things that have been weighing me down. so when will i finally fall from all the pressure? when will i sink after trying to stay afloat for so long? i can’t swim, mom. you know i can’t i love you, mom i love you so much i hope you can love me too
