music- Brain Stew by Green Day i dont know how to edit out bad words so womp womp I might leave scratch for a while for my mental health. conclusion for the notes, I'm depressed now. I will talk about blue in a future project im not committing you idiots srsly last time I posted something like this y'all kept telling me to commit you just wanted me to die didn't you? I don't like the last 2 picrews
So recently I have not been feeling very good. I am depressed once again, and if you saw my last project that was similar to this, that same person has started bullying me again. Not just her, but 2 others that we will call Fluffy and Blue. So, Fluffy and I were best friends in 5th grade, but she got really annoying about her crush. So I told her to stop talking about him, because she yapped about him ALL the time. She said ok, but she did not actually end up not talking about him. So I told her that I did not wanna be friends with her anymore, and she told me that she hates me, and that I am one of the worst people in the world. A little bit after that, during orchestra she gave me a present and a note saying that she wants to be friends again. I told my parents about it and they said that was not a good sign because she had already given me tons of stuff while we were friends and just wanted to lure me into it. So I threw it away, and went on with my life. I went to school the next day, and there she was, literally staring at me the entire time we were at recess, at lunch, and at orchestra. I just ignored her. But, tons of her friends kept bugging me about why I ditched her for somebody else. First of all, I knew everyone at the school so I would not have hung out with someone other than my best friend, and second of all, I did not ditch her. Of course, my friends who were her friends too did not believe me, even though I knew most of them for 3 years and they knew I would not lie. So I ended up going home early because I faked a headache and stomachache, and when Fluffy got off the bus, she texted me OVER and OVER until I just deleted her contact and blocked her. I told my mom about what she said (they were hurtful things) and she wanted to see for proof. I told her I deleted the texts and conversations though, so she got mad and said that if I do not have proof than she cannot believe me. So we were arguing about it for a while, and then she told me to hand over my phone until she gets proof. So I spent 3 months without a phone, suffering from Fluffy saying mean things to me without my friends overhearing. Except for this one time. We were in orchestra, and at lunch I had overheard Fluffy talking trash about me. So I go up to get my cello tuned, and my orchestra teacher looks at me and says ¨Do you need to step out to cool off for a bit?¨ and I nod my head and leave, feeling Fluffy´s eyes staring at me. While I walk out, I hear her say ¨OMG, [deadname] is such a big baby. I wish she would just suck it up.¨ I run even faster to the bathroom, and sit down on the ground. I spend like 5 minutes there, and walk back to orchestra shyly and grab my cello for the lesson. I hear Fluffy whispering about me and something about how I am such a crybaby. Tbh, she cries way more than me. Anyway, at the end of the lesson I go to get my cello case and put my chair away, but Fluffy is standing in front of them with my 2 friends who are not her friends. She says something like ¨omg, [deadname] has the same pants as my sister. thats so unacceptable. ewww¨ at this point my 2 friends look back at me, and I lose it. I sprint out to the bathroom trying to hold in tears, and I slam the stall door. I start to cry, and I hear some of my friends come in. ¨Hey, [deadname], you in there? We just told Fluffy to shut up and keep to herself. Are you okay?¨ I walk out, and I cover my face. They start to hug me, which makes me feel a little better. Afterwards, they tell our orchestra teacher about it and I tell my teacher. My teacher tells Fluffy´s teacher, and she tells the principal. Fluffy´s teacher and the principal somehow get to the conclusion that it was MY fault, even though I do not have anger issues like Fluffy. My teacher stands against it, but I get in trouble and Fluffy gets more power. Anyway, that was 5th grade, but now I am in 6th grade. I changed my name to August over the summer, and Fluffy did not know. So on my email it shows August, and I got invited to one of her group chats by my friend. I just go along with it, thinking about my advantage with the new name. On Christmas, I put a picture of my wolf gear that I got, and she said "THAT SLAYS QUEEEEN! MERRY CHRISTMAS!" and I said "Merry Christmas" and suddenly she's acting all friendly and I don't know what to do, so we just chat for a bit, but it turns out to be a long time, and I don't know what to do so I panic and leave. I realize that she doesn't know who I actually am. So I join back, and she starts asking weird questions (not inappropriate questions, just weird) and I answer them untruthfully, because if I was honest, she would get suspicious and realize I was the person she claimed to bully her. So I faked being someone else, and it was fine until it got to me. I realized I shouldn't be doing this. So I emailed her about it and I still haven't gotten a response. It was about making sure she knew who I was, and what she had done to me. And how it made me feel.
