welp... this is gonna be a difficult project to make. !! HATE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED ON THIS PROJECT !! ALL DISRESPECFUL COMMENTS WILL BE REPORTED !! you ever just, not care about something? yet the second you do start caring you realise that it was wrong the whole time? cuz i had that. except it was something much, much larger than i would have ever expected... when i was younger, i never really cared about how people perceived me. of course, i wanted to make friends and such, but i feel like so did most of the other kids so i never had to worry about being judged. i had much more important things on mind like getting the high score in subway surfers and whatnot. i just did things and so long as i liked them it was okay :3 then secondary school hit. i cared a lot more about being liked and such. i'd just gotten a diagnosis for autism and anxiety earlier that year, and i was scared that every person who i walked past hated me, and was talking about me behind my back. i tried to focus on getting perfect scores in school work [ which... didn't really work out- ]. i couldn't just yap about mario games anymore because that's seen as odd and childish, yet i never really enjoyed any of the things that most other teenagers enjoyed. a lot of the time I kinda just felt trapped in a little bubble, unable to tell anyone about myself out of fear that i'd be ostracised for it. i also started to care about how i presented myself. what my beliefs were, what i identified with... basically who i was. this little identity crisis started ramping up a LOT when i had a dip in my mental health which we're not gonna get too into but i was starting to notice some things... i didn't like how i was born. i started seeing and imagining flaws in myself that had previously gone unnoticed. things about myself and the body i was born in that i once didn't care about started making me feel more and more uncomfortable about the way i was born over time. i started feeling almost disconnected from other girls. i didn't feel right, i felt like i was like. trapped in the wrong body, i guess? idk, it was odd. i started to hate my voice, i started to hate my hair... tho to be fair i kinda always hated my hair cuz it was curly and it always got knotted... but i started to hate it MORE. I just hated... everything about myself that made me, in the eyes of society, a girl. I started wondering... what would i be like as a boy? How would my life be like if I was one. I honestly kinda preferred it. Then 2023 and 2024 happened. My mental health was at all time low. I'd been pulled out of school, I was doing nothing all day and I was too scared to even go outside. My identity crisis was taking up my entire mind, I didn't know who I was, who I wanted to be... I looked in the mirror one day after having a shower and stared at myself for a solid 10 minutes. To the point where my vision was getting all static-y and my eyes were starting to water. And I remember wondering that same thought I'd been having for a while... 'why couldn't i have been born a boy?' and then i realised. yknow that probably isn't normal?? i considered the thought that maybe i was transgender... but i quickly dismissed it. i like doing SOME feminine things, so that makes me a girl, right? like, sure, i'd prefer if i was able to do the feminine things while ALSO being a boy, yknow? but my mind is very 'all-or-nothing' in the sense that you gotta be either this or that. so i was in denial for a LONG LONG while. internalised transphobia and everything. i was okay with others being trans but in my mind, i couldn't be it myself. i thought everyone had these thoughts and i was weird for being vocal about them. i ended up doing a lot more research on it, how other people's experiences were, all that. i aligned with most of the feelings other people had. slowly but surely i started to realise that i can't run from this side of myself. this is me and i have to accept it. it's taken a long while, a long mental battle... but now i feel i can finally announce it. i am kuniique. however you can also call me anthony or arlo. i am a transgender man who currently goes by he/they pronouns. i hope everyone here can accept me. ...now the real question is what do i do about my main oc cuz like. i could turn kuniique into a man but then there'd be no woman main ocs of mine. i was considering having anthony be my main persona cuz that's what i made him for, fun fact, but that'd get all confusing with kuniique being both my name and my current main oc's name. i could also make an entirely new oc...? but that'd defeat the purpose of anthony. idk. tell me in the comments y'all :D [ P.S. I know I already told like half of my friends about it *cough cough* Keenan *cough cough* LazyEye *cough cough* Sevyn [ fun fact he was the first person I told :3 ] so I'm rlly glad I got supportive friendos like y'all :D ]
