There is a discount on the vacuum. For a limited time (Jan. 18th - Feb. 31st) it is only going to cost $8.99 (not including taxes). What it can do: - Trans your gender (ftm, mtf, enby, you name it) - Clean up anything (dust, crumbs, puke, corpses, etc.) - Free donuts! - Shapeshifter (next to the donuts) - Hormones (for the transing gender) - The automatic gayifier (turns homophobes into homosexuals) - A bird named Larry (he's pretty chill) - A copy of the Catcher in the Rye - A guy named Reggie (he's recyclable) - A knife... You know what to do with it... - AND DID I MENTION FREE DONUTS?! Side effects: Stefon shows up to your house daily, Reggie gets hungry and bites (dispose of him immediately if you don't have enough food to suffice), you will become illegal in 49 states (move to Alaska before the Feds find you), and a 0.000000001% chance you will explode after eating two free donuts.
GET IT TODAY!