Ok, so for a long time I've been questioning being trans. I know I've already said I was but shortly after saying that I was convinced that I was too young and just a tomboy. But I've always kinda wanted to be a boy, it all started around 5th grade. So in 4th I was a really big tomboy, and by the time I got to 5th I started thinking "what if I was a boy" and imagining myself as one did not really bother me. I started thinking about it a lot, and had dreams about being a boy, every time I woke up, I would cry because it wasn't real. I started looking into being trans because I've heard about it, and at the time I thought it meant that I wanted to be the opposite gender. But of course, convinced again by everyone that I was just a tomboy. 6th grade, when I got to 6th grade I was introduced to the LGBTQ, and I started researching everything settling with being pansexual and possibly trans. When I researched being trans I thought "yes this is me lol" but I got confused as I felt feminine at times, I looked into being genderfluid and thought that fit me more. Since I was still questioning everything. I always did feel a little more masculine though. When everything changed: Of course even after becoming genderfluid, I still thought about being a boy. I would get so uncomfortable with my body being feminine that I would shower in a bathing suit. I went clothes shopping for back to school and had to change, and when I was changing I started crying, because of my body. I put on two sports bras on top of each other and noticed that *they* seemed to go away after that. I stopped crying and started getting dressed, with the sport bras and the oversized t-shirt, I thought my body looked more masculine, and I liked it. Recently, I've been getting dreams again about being a boy, and again, crying about it not being real. The past week I've been researching, taking tests,talking to my trans friend, trying out pronouns, and even talking to my trans character on character ai. And everything was landing on the possibility of me being trans. Thank you for reading, please do not report this, I just need to vent. And if anybody on here feels the same way I think it would be cool if we talked.
