Tyler and Josh = Twenty One Pilots (far right top corner) ToadBup (far right bottom corner) Penny = Penny Loafer Squeek (next to Opsiian and Bup) Opsiian (Middle) Faline = Faline San (Far left bottom corner) Matt Rose (Above Faline) Faline: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING. Faline: *pulls up a graph* THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SONGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY! Tyler: I've been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst. Faline: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! *pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says "you need help”* Opsiian: If I die, you can have what little I own. Penny: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die? Opsiian: My unending existence is fuelled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full. Penny: Penny: *Sighs* Let me call your therapist again. Opsiian: Faline likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both. Faline: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper? Faline: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Matt Rose. Penny, over radio: Testing. Testing. ToadBup, can you hear me? ToadBup, standing next to Penny: I’m standing right here. Penny: You’re coming through good and loud. ToadBup: ‘Cause I’m standing right here. Opsiian: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who. ToadBup: Voldemort? Opsiian: No. ToadBup: Is it Voldemort? Opsiian: It's not Voldemort. ToadBup: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort. Faline: Okay, let's split 'em up and make 'em sing. Matt Rose: Two of you take Tyler, the other two take Josh. Penny: Right. Bad cop, good cop. Opsiian: You know, it's interesting that they say "bad cop, good cop," because policing in this country is so broken it's really just "bad cop, bad cop". Matt Rose: Penny, you're with them. Penny: Got it. Tyler, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McF*** here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem. Josh, talking to Faline: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now! *The squad is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.* ToadBup: Get two more chairs! Faline: They can get their own chairs. Penny: Make them fight for it. Josh: You only need one chair to beat them all with. Opsiian: I would never be near children. Matt Rose: Kill two. ToadBup: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously. Matt Rose: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Opsiian: Only if you also don't ask why. Opsiian: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of their bag* Matt Rose: ... Matt Rose, grabbing a skull: This one will do. ToadBup: Watcha doin? Penny: Stealing my neighbour’s cat. ToadBup: Scandalous. ToadBup: Can I help? Faline: I just watched Opsiian jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, they weren't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Tyler was screaming for help, which caused ToadBup to run in to help Opsiian. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes. ToadBup: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally! ToadBup, earlier: I don’t care for Tyler. Josh: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery. Matt Rose: Social distancing says you shouldn't be within an elbow's distance of each other. *later, in a barfight* Matt Rose: Social distancing doesn't say nothing about feet! *kicks opponent in the face* Tyler: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that’s how he met his end. Penny: Dear God! Tyler: Yeah! Exactly! Penny: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look. Tyler: I'm bored, any suggestions? Josh: Sleeping is nice. Tyler: I acknowledge your suggestion, and I’m deciding to ignore it. ToadBup, pointing at Faline: Are they a Freak (derogatory)? ToadBup, pointing at Josh: Or a Freak (affectionate)? Penny: Why not both? ToadBup, to Penny: You’re so right, Freak (double-edged sword)! Faline, grinning: Before you were what? Tyler: Before I was- Faline: What? Tyler: Before I was inter- Faline: Before you were interrupted? Tyler: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- Faline: What? Tyler: *makes frustrated sound* Josh, nervously: Stop that. Before they hurt you.
ToadBup: So we're gonna read what we wrote down so we can tell everyone in the class something about ourselves. Matt Rose: Okay, my name is Matt Rose but you can refer to me as Lord Farquad. ToadBup: Okay that's not happening- how about you! Josh: I'm Josh and I like the movie White Chicks! ToadBup: ...Okay... whatever, I respect that. Penny: My name is Penny and I hate this place, it actually sucks here... ToadBup: Okay... and you... Opsiian: *nervous* Uhhh my name is Opsiian and my favorite color is... math.
