An Astrologer's Scam

Instructions

~An Astrologer's Scam~ Frigid and Flame were just taking a walk in the capital when something extremely peculiar happened. "Why doesn't Hazel like me?" Flame was complaining to Frigid (this was not the peculiar thing, as it was perfectly normal for Hazel to be neutral towards Flame). "I did EVERYTHING for her, I was ALWAYS there for her, but the only cat she likes is YOU!" "Perhaps I'm just too charming," Frigid replied, tossing his hair dramatically. Rolling his eyes, Flame muttered, "Life SUCKS." "Hey, don't say that. Appreciate every little thing in life, as—" "WELCOME TO MY SHOP!" A loud yell cut Frigid off as they walked past an alley. Faster than lightning, a cat dragged the pair into a dimly-lit "shop." "Hey, we weren't entering your shop—" Frigid started, confused. Flame (who loved drama) immediately began yelling at the top of his lungs, "HELP!!! ABDUCTION! SOMEONE'S TRYING TO KIDNAP THE CROWN PRINCE AND THE DUKE'S SON!" "WAIT, no!" The mysterious cat clamped a paw over Flame's mouth. "I only want—" "Money?" Frigid asked. "How much? I can sell him to you." Frigid pointed at Flame, who seemed entirely used to this sort of betrayal. "No!" The cat sighed, exasperated. "I want to offer you the chance to look into your future, to discover what you don't know about your true self, to—" "How much?" Frigid, ever interested in financial matters, pressed on. "Not $99, not $19, just $9.9, including a special post delivered to your doorstep!" the cat exclaimed. "I'm a very experienced astrologer, so it's a great deal—" "Okay," Frigid cut him off, handing over the money. "For the two of us." The astrologer was so surprised he let go of Flame, who collapsed dramatically onto the floor. This was his first customer since starting the business! "Oh, thank you, generous gentlemen, for—" "Just tell us our future," Frigid interrupted. The astrologer took a deep breath and stared into Frigid's eyes. A few seconds later, he gasped in shock and said slowly, "Young cat, I see something ominous. Death approaches fast. Beware of the one whom you trust the most." Frigid immediately stared at Flame. "Him?" "This, you must find out for yourself," the astrologer said cryptically. "Wait, are you saying that I might die before I become emperor?" Frigid asked in disbelief. "Uh..." "LIFE. ABSOLUTELY. SUCKS." Frigid groaned. "Hey, don't say that. Appreciate every little thing—" Flame started, but was cut off by the astrologer. "Wait, young cat, I see something very special in you," the astrologer said. Flame's eyes widened. "ME? Really?" Without waiting for a response, he continued, "See? I KNEW I WAS BETTER THAN ASH!" "I see... something yellow," the astrologer tried. "Yellow? Hazel???" Flame gasped, practically dancing. "Do you see a pale yellow she-cat smiling and giving a flower to me?" "No..." The astrologer's eyes glittered mysteriously. "I see... a vegetable." Flame's mind was suddenly filled with horrifying images of Hazel turned into a vegetable. "I see..." the astrologer continued dramatically, "A POTATO!" "Huh," Flame and Frigid said simultaneously. "Do you like potatoes, young cat?" the astrologer asked Flame. "I HAVE POTATOES! A whole sack, not for $199, not $99, only $19, delivered straight to your doorstep!" A pause. Flame stared at the astrologer, then concluded, "You're a scammer!" "I think so too," Frigid nodded. "BECAUSE MY POTATOES ONLY COST $9.9, and they're personally delivered by ME!" Flame shouted triumphantly. Frigid bonked him on the head with one of the potatoes and dragged him out. How could his friends be so... peculiar? He's the crown prince; he needs better friends (like Ash) than Flame. Before leaving, he told the astrologer seriously, "Don't listen to him. The palace has better potatoes, and they're way cheaper." Taking out his phone, he clicked on a link and showed the gaping astrologer the website. "GO ONTO PINDUODUO, and you'll get fake stuff—I mean, real stuff, for the price of fake stuff!" ~The End~