this srp may include mentions of things such as death- please be cautious while reading or avoid reading entirely if this triggers you. tl;dr an explanation of the reasoning behind littlepaw’s prefix change, canonically takes place b4 his ceremony get ready for AWKWARD FAMILY ENCOUNTERS 101 :sob: song: lagtrain by inabakumori ★= i failed so badly. i was never there for them. for her. for him. i was never one to imagine myself amidst a family. it was still nice to raise them. alli, glis- i took them in because they were alone and i was alone, and we were all happy for a bit. i saved someone. it felt amazing. i felt like i had a purpose. then this medic apprentice thing came along. suncuppaw and heritagepaw are nice, but they’re still just coworkers to me. same with beetrootburrow. he’s going to be gone soon anyways, when we become full medics. and i drifted away from my kids. my family. i didn’t spend time with them. maybe i did try to. a few times. but they didn’t want to anymore. or i realized i didn’t want to. now it feels like we live in separate clans. the only family that i was really actually close with are either dead like winnie, or feel completely and utterly estranged from me. i might still be able to talk to glistentide, but now it just feels… awkward, and like i’m not allowed. and umbrafever always seems like she’s putting on an act, and i have no idea why. all i have is my friend noodle. i can trust him. i’ll tell it everything. whenever i see him, that is. i’m going to start again in the meantime. i can change. i can always start over, and become someone i actually want to be. i.. don’t know who that is, though. i was fine with who i was, but now i just want to go towards whatever new path comes my way. i’ll shed this name- littlepaw. i don’t want to be named after someone long gone. i want to have my own name. something special. how about ‘solstice’? it means the longest day of greenleaf and the longest night of leafbare. i’m talking to myself. hi, myself- solstice sounds good. who am i kidding? that was stupid. i won’t do that again. i’ll ask the leader if i can change it before my ceremony. maybe i’ll seem more mysterious- or more kind. something. i’ll change for who i want to change for, and stay for who i want to stay for. i’m starting over. that’s all i have to say.