10 years

Instructions

how have i been on this website for a full decade my first experience with scratch was when i found it after one of those "hour of code" classes i had taken in school. i created "who cares?" via it, and asked my parents 2 let me make an account. they agreed, and as i was 8 and not thinking about who i really was, i chose a username based on my irl name at the time. i created more projects, typically engaging with the my little pony, shopkins, and warrior cats communities (despite knowing Literally Nothing about the latter at the time). i discovered "coloring contests" and promptly made plenty of garbage entries. i HATED anything 2 do with five nights at freddy's at the time, and i vividly remember having beef with this other kid who loved it 2 the point where the scratch team had 2 email my parents because i was reporting them for weird reasons. alas, my activity during 2015 didn't last forever. sometime in late june-early july, i was looking through CCEs when i found a troll entry featuring a uh. Less than kid friendly theme. i found it hilarious as i did not understand what it was or what it stood for, and showed it 2 my mom, who proceeded 2 indefinitely ban me from using the website. i filled the hole by recording stupid videos on my ipod. on my 9th birthday, i got a computer and eventually ended up discovering ROBLOX; i fell in love with the roleplay genre and ROBLOX studio. i still have most of these files, as the ipod was backed up on a drive my dad still has and i have been very diligent about preserving my ROBLOX work, including autosaves. i also got over my irrational hatred of five nights at freddy's during this time. fast-forward 2 around february 2017, when my mom asked me if i still used scratch. i tried 2 explain 2 her that she had barred me from using it, but she didn't seem 2 recall, and encouraged me 2 get back on. i still remembered the password i had made 2 years earlier, and for the first time in over a year and a half i was in. during this time i was primarily interested in pokemon (+ 2 an extent ninjago), and the former shines through in several projects i made and posted during '17. then i got in2 msm and discovered the animation meme community for the first time. i haven't shared most of my early memes, but they were primarily recolors as i was not confident in my art skills at the time. it was around late 2017-early 2018 when i discovered shyfoox's roleplay games specifically, and started making characters with them. i figured out what a furry was, and immediately embraced the community, designating io (at the time named "insane one") and bolted (then named bolted one) as my fursonas. i soon found friendship. i started posting my animations and actually talking with people on scratch. i entered draw to adopt contests from these people and even collaborated with them (shoutout 2 obsidian! we haven't talked since '21 and sometimes i wonder how you're doing. i hope you're doing well). then scratch 3.0 happened. one of my closest friends quit and deleted most of their work. i found out the new version was a buggy mess with audio recording issues. and yet i pushed on. i did not post for a few months, but came back stronger than ever. i improved and continued throughout the year. then i made friends once again. in december of 2019 i joined a studio pertaining 2 a roblox myth, and became good friends with the owner and another member. they introduced me 2 object shows, and i introduced them 2 dragon adventures and the extremely bizarre hyperfixation i had on terminated roblox users. we'd do "roleplays" in the owner's roblox game which were really just us messing around with admin commands, and yap about the things that interested us. i continued making projects throughout the year. 2021 was interesting. not much 2 note that happened on this website, but the spaces i joined offsite during this time began messing me up. i slowly became less and less amicable and the things i found funny started becoming incredibly crude. 2021 was bad, but 2022 and 2023 were worse. my activity slipped here, but i became cruel and driven by "the joke" 2 the point where i'd end up hurting others. in early '22 i got mad at a kid for winning a contest and would regularly publicly badmouth others' work. throughout both years i ended up making my friends extremely uncomfortable with my aggressive and pushy behavior, along with my (at that point extremely twisted, for lack of a better term) sense of humor. my main friend group at the time cut me off in june of 2023, and for good reason. the way i was acting was not justifiable in any way, shape, or form. the level of abhorrence i have for my actions is immeasurable, and i still can't look at myself right. i didn't use scratch for months, out of fear of harassment and, more importantly, because i needed 2 fix myself. although it was difficult for myself 2 acknowledge at first, i slowly but surely found the source of the issues and snuffed it out.