[space for process - mouse down to zoom] I used to not be ready. I would lie awake as a kit, thinking I could take on the world, and wonder - when am I ready? It was a distant question (from a distant time) and the answer would remain elusive and unknown...until now. This morning was like any other - after Foxclaw's death at least. It was the middle of new-leaf with plenty of food to go around and litters of kits to train. I slept in like usual until the sounds of elders chattering and kits playing... and my own guilt of moping around... became too much that I eventually picked myself up. Someone would tell me what to do. While they talk, they'll look at me sadly and try to hide it, but I really didn't mind. Water is interesting. It flows without restraint. Fills up its container and just exists. Water is ready when flowing down as a waterfall, sitting on grass as dew, or pitter-pattering as rain. I thought about this as I walked along the river. (There wasn't anything for me to do today) I was too lazy to find a shady spot higher on the creek, so I just lay down next to the shore and took a nap. And I dreamt. A tom with pale orange fur stood. A dark grey she-cat. Another grey tom. They asked me if I was ready. It took me off guard. I answered like I always did: "No, I'm not ready yet." They smiled at me, but it wasn't the sad, pitying smile that my BerryClan Clanmates gave me. It was warm and somehow I-I almost recognized them. Somewhere I'd known them. And there I was ready. I woke up with my nose filled with water. The tide had risen and the shore was far from sight. I started to panic, trying to lift my head for air, but as not the strongest swimmer, it only made the situation worse. Helplessly kicking and flailing my legs, I thought, "StarClan - why?" And I understood. Am I ready? Yes, I am now. I've been ready. I had been ready since Foxclaw died. My kin and friends were all in good terms with me. And... Marshpaw. He and his peculiar relationship with that kittypet. He will be alright - more than he thinks and more than I ever told him. I was ready. And tired. Foxclaw. Badgers. Dogs. Deputies coming and going. There had been so much. There will still be much more. I, however, was complete. Yes. I'm ready now. I closed my eyes and exhaled, bubbles floating around my whiskers. The sunlight was warm against my eyelids. I stopped kicking and let the water flow. I smiled. It's okay. I'm ready.
i like this :) SRP (self roleplay - for the roleplay, The Vast Meadow) written by me, art by me, Ivysplash belongs to me Zoom in code from @ForestThunder Background tutorial from @Greninja714 Bubble tutorial from Shindi-e on Deviant Art We'll Be Alright from Weathering With You