ya know, I might just rant on here. Today was hard. I find myself absolutely dreading the school day. Especially on the weekends. Sunday will end and then I will stay up as late as possible just to procrastinate the arrival of the next morning because I just don't want to go that bad. Even on weekdays, I stay up as late as I can possibly go. I one time stayed up till 4:00 am, just dreading the school day and making sure it didn't come. But of course, that's not necessarily true. The next day will keep coming. That's just how our planet and the sun and stuff works. But when you go to sleep, the night goes by super quick, but when you stay up, it doesn't go by as fast. But I still don't know why I dread the school day so much. I don't know why. It could be that I just hate school that much and I just want it to be over. It could be the classes. It could be everything about it. I don't know. I always hate B-days because I've only got one elective on it but my required classes are before it so by the time I even get there I am just so drained I don't want to do anything. My required classes are some of my worst classes too. Geo, for example. Oh my... my spirit leaves my body the second I walk into that cursed classroom. Yes, I have a few friends in that class so that makes it a little better, but Geo is the most draining out of all my classes. Half of the time, I don't know what the flip is going on and I feel like everyone is moving on and I'm left behind because I still don't understand what we're even learning about because it doesn't interest me and I don't want to learn about it. But somehow I have an A in that class. Don't understand it. I would start ranting about my Geo teacher but I'm just spent. I kind of feel the same way in math. My math teacher is awesome, I like them a lot. But they teach really fast and I feel like I'm left behind because I don't understand what we're even learning. It happened with domains. I still don't know what the heck they are. English is a little better because my dear friend is in it with me, so it's a little better. I don't mind it but I'm still not particularly fond of the class. Unlike Geo -_- I hate Geo a lot in case you haven't noticed. The one thing I look forward to in the school day is going home. That's the only thing really. Getting on the bus, putting on my headphones, and go home. School is getting so overwhelming to the point where I just don't even want to try anymore. I just don't have that kind of motivation to do anything school related. I've had a bunch of people tell me that high school will be better and it will be some of the best days of my life. I want to believe that, but something tells me that it'll just be the same as jr. high. Maybe high school will be fun, I dunno. But that sinking feeling is just always there when school comes up. The sleeping thing is becoming a problem. I'm just now realizing that throughout this entire week and many more before this that I've never gone to bed at a reasonable time. I've only gone to bed at 1:00 - 3:00 am. never earlier. There may have been some days where I go to bed at 12:00 am, which isn't better but it's okay. I just hate school so much. I love the friends I make there but just school. Why? Everything we learn there, we're never gonna use it. Ever. I don't see why I need to know every organelle of a cell. .... it's fine. I'll go to bed eventually if not now. Also, song I'm listening to on repeat rn: Fin - Kanaya. It's really good. Really the thing that's keeping me somewhat positive... kind of. Anyway, if you read that, good job I guess. Thanks for letting me yap I guess. it's 12:14 AM rn
