ONE YEAR!! ♥︎

Instructions

i wanted to fly i wanted to dream to dream of a world where… where… i stand here, trembling wide eyes of despair their voices of many far, far too great to bear i did not want this i did not want what you so longed to be mine a chance to prove yourself worthy only to my demise and yet here i am the visionary, aren’t i? the boy who so longs to prove himself worthy, the boy who never ceases to cower the boy who... who… . . . who really am i? ──── ☽ ──── hey everyone!! what you see above is a small portion of the very first draft of my application for anenomedrift. i never shared any of my first ideas for him, but I thought this would be the perfect time <3 so - it's been a year, huh? holy moly. it still feels so crazy to say. this year has been such a rollercoaster for me, and I know i've had my ups and downs as the year has gone by, but i am so proud of how far we've all come. one year ago, a new life was born. in the small dark caves of the serpentine dynasty, a kit with glowing red pupils, with eyes as wide as the moons, filled with wonder. exploring the world from the moment he could walk on his feet, from the moment his eyes were opened to the world around him. a world filled with mysteries. -- i especially remember the first couple of months of anenomedrift’s life, when he was still just an apprentice. it was so hard being a new member of the tfcrp community at first. i used to worry about making a good impression, being sure that anenomedrift was known. i would get discouraged when a project i made for anenomedrift only had a couple of views, even after i had poured my soul into it. i always thought that i had to prove myself — that i needed to make sure everyone knew that i /was/ worthy of having been picked to roleplay anenomedrift. i thought i needed that validation, i thought i needed other people to like what i was doing with his character, but after a while, i finally chose to stop caring about what other people thought of me — and of him. -- he walked the worlds between daydreams and reality, the worlds of life and death. born with two sisters, one who bore the crown to royalty, passed down from his father. separated from his only family as a little kit brought to a new clan, only to be met with stares of disgust. a traitor to thunderclan, only because of his mother, maelstromspire's, infamous legacy, passed onto him from birth. he is an outcast. -- anenomedrift has always reminded me of myself, in a way. i, too, was (and still sometimes am) that guy who always sits in the back of the classroom with his head down, or who has a better time with his nose in a book rather than socializing. in a way, having little bits of myself enveloped in anenome has always made writing his character feel a little more special, like, in a way, he's a part of me, too. -- and then. and then and then. the tears rolling down his cheeks, his body quaking with fear, with anger. only an apprentice, but with his mother's lifeless figure at the edge of his pawsteps. and a new emotion began to fill his whole body, his entire heart becoming engulfed in something sharper, something fiercer. why stay in thunderclan, when there was nothing truly grounding his paws there? when everyone looked at him the wrong way? when the only cat in the whole wide world he thought would always be on his side had vanished. -- figuring out and writing all the plot for anenome has taken so long!! and we're not even done!! it's never over!!! i've discovered how much you just need to go with the flow with all these things, something I never would have expected last year. if you look back at my ideas for anenome when I was applying for him, everything was so vastly different!! he used to have this whole plot with maelstromspire where anenome slowly realised that she was, in fact, the whole reason he was stuck in thunderclan- kind of bizarre, i know. it ended up having to be changed because i didn't have enough time to plan out everything and talk to raye before maelstromspire ultimately passed <3 now, it's really fun to look back at everything I had once planned for him, and think about how differently things might have turned out with his character. -- and so he left. he ran and ran. he left for the serpentine dynasty, his home, his kithood, his whole life. the only place where he had been greeted with open arms. but. little did he know, a storm plagued his home. sent his former friends, former kin, to run away, just as he had done long ago. where were his sisters now, huntress and seraph, when he needed them? where was his mother, somewhere up in the sky, never to be reached? ++