... I'm over this. I'm over panic attacks, coughing up blood, getting sick, being ill. I'm over drama, sadness, pressure, anxiety. I need to follow my ownpath. Go rouge. Find myself. My real me. @blueautumn2025, @lavapool100, and @mustyc0w, if your reading this, spread the word and please understand. I don't want to be spoken to tomorrow. I don't want to really even be looked at,mentioned. I just want to be alone. I want to be left alone. Until I can find me again. The real me. The playful, happy, imaginitive, energetic, joyful, silly, inspiring, brave, open, helpful person I am, or at least used to be. The loner. The independant. The happy. That's who I want to be. Me. Because I don't even remember the last time I smiled a true smile. Felt real happiness. Felt youth. Felt like a good person. Felt like the true person I am. I used to always be happy, open, silly, and helpful. Now I'm shy, scared, nervous, always sad and angry and upset. I need to be left alone so I can hopefully find the real person I am. Not trapped. Not sad. Not scared. Just free. The real me.
Songs: Runner-up by Bailey Spinn (she's amazing) And Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson (also amazing!) Lyrics that inspire me and describe me: Runner-up "Whys it feel like I'm never enough, poster child of sucking it up, I walk in and everyone runs. Gold star loser, punch to the gut, kick me down I'm stuck in the mud. Always close but never the one, I'm just another runner-up. Hello diary, not surprising, I got f----- over again." "I'm in a corner." Breakaway "I'll spread my wings as i learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes til' i touch the sky, and i'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and breakaway. Out of the darkness and into the sun, but I won't forget all the ones that I love. I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change, and breakaway."
