CW: Self-deprecating thoughts. Tears mix with the shower water as it flows down the drain. Thoughts rampage in my head. It's not fair. Why do they have to add onto my already heavy stress? Don't they have anything better to do? They're so hypocritical. Just leave me alone! Is it my fault? Am I anymore than just an irresponsible girl in their eyes? Ugh, I'm such a main character. Why am I like this? I've always changed myself for other people, always have been a people pleaser. Apparently its bad to do that, apparently you should just be *yourself*. But I've been changing myself for so long to try to keep everyone happy that I... I don't even know who I am anymore. How can One be something that One doesn't know? Plus, everyone knows me as the perfect, funny, weird-in-a-good-way girl. Would they still like me if they knew who I really am? Would they like a complete stranger? Being perfect is the only thing I know and, without it, I'm just a nobody, someone insignificant. Any relationship is a give and take situation, I know that far, but will people still give when I have nothing for them to take? I don't think so. I don't want to be a charity case that everyone sympathises with but secretly talks about me behind my back. But wanting the amount of friends a perfect person would have without the being perfect part is selfish. I'm so selfish. I shouldn't have to worry about things like this, especially not at my age. There's probably some right that says I shouldn't have to. Now I'm really spiralling. It's just a mood swing, this happens a lot at my age. I step out of the shower, water dripping onto the sleek black floor tiles. I'll be fine, like I always am. Always fine.
I don't wanna do homework sometimes
