hi guys um my day was awful. I got grounded from screens and leaving the house for two days so um. not fun! it doesnt help that my anxiety is just increasing the more time I spend without my phone.. I'm just worried about something happening to my mom though and me not texting her "goodbye" and "I love you" or a "be safe" but I'm trying not to think about it because if I do i'll have a panic attack and I don't want anyone in this house to see that. Umm so yeah awful. My dad woke me up today at like 6 saying that I have school and I had to tell him its an off day. then I got woken up again at like 9:40 for a "talk" about last night.. he just defended Angela despite what she said about me. UHHHHHH I'm so sick of her saying stuff like "you "try" this week? you don't try. you never try. you just stay up in your room and don't talk to NOBODY." bro. IM TRYING I SWEAR. so yeah but I just sat in my room the whole day reading and listening to music on my Chromebook and talking to Charlotte. Angela and dad made me clean the kitchen DUDE THERE WERE SO MANY DISHES IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO DO.. but its ok ig gave me something to do. dad was gone the whole day at work and Angela just gave me dirty looks and said she couldnt forgive me for what I said last night SORRY IM TALKING SO MUCH ABOUT "last night" ITS JUST BEEN THE ONLY THING GOING ON TODAY this is NOT a vent guys I swear. ummm and I almost choked on my breakfast pancakes this morning while sobbing which was weird cuz I said "I wish I was dead" and right after that happens SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME. STOP. IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE..... *waving help while I descend into heaven* umm I spend 30mins outside on my backyard swings with charlotte listenig to my neighbors 18-20 year old kids playing terrible rap music IT WAS SO BAD Charlotte liked it though.. kind of worried for her msuci taste. then I went inside and BOOM I'm here now YAY finally....my room... and maybe dinner
stars tonight because there's no good Hamilton images and I don't feel like looking Current song - Nobody by Mitski Mood - homesick Day on a scale of 1-10 = 2 Hyperfixations - Cats. Im always hyperfixated on cats. after that its Hamilton and AGGGTM Book - As Good As Dead (agggtm series by Holly Jackson) AND Alex & Eliza book 1 of the trilogy (Hamilton book)