so I really never thought I'd be making this project as soon as I am but here we are. before we proceed I'd like to tell you that I'm not fully leaving, don't worry. but I need to let you guys know kind of what's going on with me and how I'm going to be moving forward with this account. first of all, you might have noticed my lack of activity in the past few months. you probably haven't even noticed because my account feels like a ghost. i'll be lucky if people even see this. I don't post projects, I don't really reply to comments, I don't explore other profiles or really do anything anymore. the reason for isn't exactly clear to me, but I guess i'm lacking a motivation for this website. I don't particularly see a point to it at this stage in my life. basically I just don't have the need and time to be on here doing stuff anymore. this started around spring break time (march) , I started working on a big project to celebrate 850+ followers (thank you all so much btw). I was really excited about this project, hoping that it might give me a boost to restart my life on here. but spring break turned into more of a time to focus on my real personal life, go places, spend time with family and friends, be healthy. eventually that big project and my account lay forgotten and even though I thought about it, I never picked it up again. now it's nearing the end of april and I'm sitting here typing this out not sure what's going to happen. these feelings have crossed my mind before but never quite this extensively. I know it's happened in the past to me and many of my online friends that we post projects like this but end up coming back and feeling better and thriving in the few days to follow that. that may end up happening and I'm willing to acknowledge that but I'm also willing to recognize that I won't be here forever. I'm turning 15 this year, I'm nearing the end of my first year of high school, I'm busy with a lot of stuff in my life. I wouldn't say I'm the healthiest person, both mentally and physically, and I want to work on that. a big thing for me is being so attached to a screen. I realize I spend way too much time on my phone and computer and that's something I strive to improve on. there's a lot of stuff that you guys (obviously) don't know about me and it truly does make me sad that I don't know all of my friends on here personally. to all my friends, the people who have kept me alive on scratch, thank you so much. thank you for always empowering me and encouraging me. thank you for checking up on me, stopping by to say hello. thank you for all of the kindness you have shown me throughout my (3 and a half?!) years of being here. but even with my friends on the platform I've felt far away from simply because I've stopped making a point of reaching out and talking to you like I normally do. and for that I'm sorry. let me tell you, 11 year old me would've never thought she would be *scratch famous* and so accepted into a community. thank you for loving everything that she's done here. that's not me anymore. going forward, I'm not sure what I'll do yet. I've always said I'll make a point of cleaning up my account but again, where's the motivation for it? should I really try to start fresh on a brand new account if I don't have the ability to keep it going strong and keep everything that I've built? all I do is check my messages every day which is now usually 1 message from a studio or something. I'm still not leaving, because something still tells me I can't. but I might just continue to be a ghost. if I ever gain motivation for this stuff again I'll make a point of fixing up my account. speaking of accounts, that big project I was talking about? it's never going to happen anymore so I may as well tell you my little secret. the project was going to be making an undercover account and tracking two weeks of stats to reveal to you guys. then this so called account would possibly become my alt account, and I'd maybe even move there one day if I felt like fully starting fresh. well I did make the account. and it's still there. so if you want to go follow reese you can. but it's not reese, it's me, robin love you all, thanks for letting me get my thoughts out. if you are reading this and you are my friend, please please please leave a message I want to reconnect with you all. if you have p!n and you'd like to reach out here's my account, follow me there: https://pin.it/63pkev9zn (I will refresh this link every once and awhile, if it doesn't work for you let me know) love love love, robin <33
