A Stalker's Diary: ENTRY #1

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A Stalker's Diary DATE: 2/18/09 ENTRY #1 I saw her again today. She wore that red crop top with the white undershirt that she always pulls at when she’s nervous. I don’t think anyone else notices things like that—but I do. I always do. Zoey walks like the world belongs to her, like the air wraps around her a little tighter than it does for the rest of us. I swear it shimmers when she passes me in the hallway. She smiled at me. Okay, maybe not at me exactly. But in my direction. I stood next to the vending machine outside the library, just so I could catch her on her way to 5th period. I timed it perfectly this time. I almost said something. I should’ve. I will next time. I just needed a second longer to think of something that didn’t sound desperate. Or creepy. But anyway—her smile. It was real. It was warm and soft like cotton, and it hurt how much I needed it. I replayed it over and over in my head during English class. I didn’t hear a single word Mr. Lawrence said about metaphors and adverbs or whatever nonsense he liked to blab about. I just kept writing her name over and over in my notebook, like some dumb cliché middle schooler. Zoey, Zoey, Zoey. God, even her name looks pretty. After school, I followed her for a little bit. Not in a weird way. I just wanted to see where she went. Turns out she takes the 5B bus—sits in the back corner, headphones in, staring out the window like she’s trapped in some sad indie movie. I stayed back, far enough that she wouldn’t notice. I’m not crazy or anything. I just want to know her. Inside and out. Every thought, every habit. The way she bites the inside of her cheek when she’s thinking too hard. The way she only wears lip gloss on rainy days. She’s... perfect. I don’t understand how no one else sees it. How they talk to her like she’s just another girl. They don’t deserve her. They don’t see her. Not like I do. She’s more than what they reduce her to. She’s everything. One day, she’ll see me too. Not just some girl with too much eyeliner and quiet shoes. She’ll really see me. And when she does, everything will change. This is just the beginning. More tomorrow. – Valentine <3