TW: this is sort of a vent and confession I guess, so if you’re sensitive to stuff like that just unfollow me and that’ll do. Thank you ❤️ ——— What is life…? Why are we here on this planet? Why are we on this one… HUGE… planet, that’s basically just in the middle nowhere!? It’s just… a planet. With lots of life on it. Beyond it are more planets. And stars. Planets, stars and nothingness. That’s all it is. We live in the middle of nowhere. A dark place that’s so huge that you can get lost anywhere… so huge that us humans don’t know what’s out there, even after centuries… we don’t know if that’s it. Is that all it is? It feels… lonely. An infinite area of nothing. There MUST be more out there. I want to cry, I don’t know what to think. I don’t want to just cry, I want to give up. Because it’s SO. HARD. And I’ve done too many bad things. - I’ve lashed out at my parents - I’ve said stuff to someone to make them feel bad on purpose - I’ve been so… RUDE - I’ve been hopeless, worthless - I’ve been FAKING FAKING F A K I N G I don’t KNOW WHAT TO DO. My whole life is a MESS. I don’t DESERVE to feel like this, I have such a good life, I’m so UNGRATEFUL and GREEDY. I have BRILLIANT parents and a BRILLIANT brother, I go to a school that IS SO NICE TO ME? CRITTER, WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WHY ARE YOU HERE FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF WHILE OTHERS OUT THERE HAVE DIVORCED PARENTS, ARE IN ADOPTION CENTRES, HAVE ABUSIVE PARENTS OR FAMILY MEMBERS. I don’t deserve to be feeling like this. But I do. Ofc I do, I’ve always been greedy like that. It’s too much. I can’t do it. I’m a FEMALE in this world. A GIRL. I can’t be a priest because I’m a GIRL… I can’t go out at night alone wherever I want because I’m a GIRL… why is so much more DANGEROUS BEING A GIRL? HOW COME MEN ARE ALLOWED DO THINGS THAT WOMEN CAN’T? Why can’t I BE A PRIEST yet a MAN CAN? Why are MEN SAFER THAN WOMEN while walking alone at night? WHY? Don’t even say ‘men have it hard too!’. Yes, men DO HAVE IT HARD TOO, but us females have had it SO HARD. WE ALWAYS HAVE. Oh, and that’s not the only thing! Guess what? Even though I feel like my friends somewhat treat me well, I feel like they hate me, then don’t hate me and that that idea was stupid, then I feel like they hate me again… IT’S A LOOP. I do not know who ACTUALLY LIKES ME ANYMORE. Not only that, but my group are currently BULLYING A GIRL WHO DID NOTHING WRONG, and I feel SO BAD FOR HER. In fact, I feel SO BAD ABOUT IT THAT IT’S TAKING A TOLL ON MY MENTAL HEALTH. You know what else is affecting my mental health? How people judge me for not being Christian. How people judge me for being queer. How people judge me for not being a vegetarian. How people judge me for how I look. How people judge me for having autism. How people judge me for being quiet. How people judge me for having OCD. How people judge me for going to the school I go to. How people tell me that I’ll RÕT IN FREAKING HEĻL BECAUSE I’M NOT CHRISTIAN. I RESPECT CHRISTIANS, YET SOME OF Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME IN RETURN THAT I’LL R0T IN H3LL? It’s not ONLY that, but what’s ALSO affecting my mental health? The way people bully trans people. The way people treat therians and furries (the good, nice ones, not the disgusting ones who are z00s and all of that… iykyk). The way that women’s rights in America are being taken away bit by bit. The way that people scare people into following a certain religion. The way that people voted for Trump to be president. Just let people be happy… what’s so hard about it? WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT IT? I hate this, I can’t do it. I don’t know WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO ANYMORE. I look at this world sometimes and recoil in disgust at how horrible some humans have made it. I’m leaving Scratch I guess. Don’t leave a hate comment, I’m NOT in the mood. Please, just don’t. Don’t even say anything that’s neutral. Just make it POSITIVE. That isn’t hard.
I’m sorry. If the ST takes this down… I won’t know what to say.
