Do you ever like.. feel so clingy to someone that when they're away from you you just want to scream. like, genuinely scream until you lose your voice I don't know why he's not gone, just busy. really busy. but its not like I'm hanging with anyone else, since most of the others are too and I don't wanna be a bother to the ones that aren't busy. or just in general. not be a bother. the most bothering I do is out of boredom, not sadness. or whatever you call this. Clinginess? hysteria? fear? oh well.. its not a big issue anyways.. I'm just being dumb again.
that nightmare felt so real... maybe it is real. I didn't look like myself. I mean, I looked like myself, just older. um. maybe it will be real. like... I could be pulled into the ground. live with those that are avoided out of disgust. only the more screwed up people would seek them out. I don't want to make myself too much. like, I don't want to be well known. after all, *anybody* could die *any day* maybe it'll happen to me someday. maybe..
