I say things randomly who knows if they're true or not things pop into my head then come out of my mouth strings of words I really shouldn't have said because the words didn't matter they could have stayed a thought but they did not and now I say it for the world to hear like the time I accidentally kind of told my whole class I'm queer I think they forgot about it but what if they didn't I overthink things a lot but sometimes I don't think enough if I had just shut my mouth not opened it so wide what I told them would still be inside my brain my hands do things without thinking I fiddle with a pencil or throw a pencil or break crayons when I get really mad I can't control it I try to ignore it or hide it but all that does is ignite it the tiny flame growing inside of me and I have to let it out someway somehow my brain makes me do it my hands not my own usually I fight it and it's okay my brain I have too much of a filter with some things and I keep quiet afraid of saying something that makes me look too smart or too dumb or cringe my brain ties my mouth shut with a piece of dark string chains holding me to the same words I've been saying for years they make me sound dumb and immature I hate it but I don't know how to change it I adopt new phrases on very rare occasions but most of the time they make me sound like a nerd and people don't like that I don't understand it so I just try to silence it
