Hi, you may know me as one of my 2 usernames, Denya_Codez or Spritz_Boof, as Quinn, or as my deadname. I just want to say, this post is not for the faint of heart. Content Warning: mentions of cvtting, mentions of su!c!d_l thoughts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay, you made it. Lately, I've been thinking about something. For a while now, I've been questioning my identity. Am I a boy? No. Am I a girl? Maybe. Am I somewhere inbetween? Probably. But I went numb after what I'm about to tell you. I am a therian, and I love expressing that at school. At home? No. I can't. My mom will flip. And she did. One time after school, I forgot to take off my handmade tail, and my mom saw it. The first thing she said is "What is that?" I turned around and froze in fear. "Where did you get that?" "A friend gave it to me." I lied. I had to lie. I speed walked to my room and took it off as fast as I could, hiding it under my desk. The next thing I heard her say was "Stop with this furry s---, you are a human boy." Inside, I snapped. Sure, I acknowledge that I'm a human, but I CAME OUT TO YOU AS NON-BINARY, LIKE, TWO WEEKS AGO! I'M A BOY? THIS WOMAN ONLY BELIEVES IN 2 GENDERS: MALE AND FEMALE! After that, I lost myself. I wanted to relapse and cvt myself again. I wanted to do it so much. But I held back. I made a deal with her. I stop cvtting, I'm allowed into the school musical. So I didn't cvt. However, I was furious at her. I. am. not. a. boy. Even worse, at school, I have to deal with a straight russian boy in my class who doesn't believe in LGBTQ+. He doesn't even believe in trans people! What. the. hell. Like, I could be anywhere else, and I would like it better. I'm going to go jump off of a building now. Kill me. I'm just taking up space.
Who am I?